A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was in an official relationship with a guy for a little over 3 months. Before that we'd met through some friends and got off to talking constantly right off the bat. The entire first month and a half of our relationship we'd talk every night for at least 3 hours over the phone, if we weren't together, as he lives about an hour away so we didn't get to see each other but twice a week on average. After that month and a half I traveled abroad to see family. With the constant talking, we'd become so incredibly close and felt like we knew most all we could about each other. He made me forget about any remote feelings I'd ever had for anyone in the past (which I hadn't thought possible)and he, being a few years older and having been in a few very serious relationships, claimed I was the love of his life and meant everything. While abroad, it was hard to talk much with the time difference, his work schedule, and the fact one of us had just woken up each time we had the opportunity to talk. After two weeks, things became stressful between us. We started arguing. I came back a week after that. We still weren't like we had been before. He knew though that my intent was to move abroad for a year later on in this year. He later said the reason he'd started acting differently was because he was afraid of what would happen when I left and how close we'd become. He was like his old self for a while, but then turned back to acting as though he had far better things to be doing on a semi-regular basis. Eventually, he asked for a break saying we'd lost our friendship in the relationship so thats why it was failing, and I completely understood and agreed that was the issue, so the solution was to build the friendship back up. After a few weeks I tried moving on because we almost never spoke and I felt it was hopeless, but found everything reminded me of him, and the guys I tried to go on a date with I could only think of him the entire time. I'm sure it was too soon but time goes so slowly where I live, what is a week seems like almost a month.After a month, he wanted to get together and hang out, but ended up not being to make it. About a week after that we spent time together, reminisced. I thought we were spending these hours as simply friends even though I'd hoped it for more, and it ended up being more after talking together for two hours or more. I left out of state the next morning for a week and thought hey maybe we're turning this around, and it seemed like it. When I got back he contacted me and said he still loved me asked if I still loved him (of which I said yes). The next weekend I stayed with him and we had a wonderful time together. He spoke to me exactly how he had that first month and a half we were together, and had the full week. He was acting like we were back with each other just unofficial, which makes sense since I'm still planning on going abroad. After a few days of not seeing each other, he didnt communicate much anymore. I'd try talking to him but he'd usually say he was busy for some reason or another, or he'd say it later because he'd just not answered. This has gone on the past two weeks since we last saw each other.Recently my family came into town and he did seem as though he would make a serious effort to meet them (as I asked) and seemed to be trying to make an arrangement.The other night though I was in his neighborhood for a movie, asked to stop by and suddenly when he had been texting me, he stopped. I sent him another about 45 minutes later saying he hadn't asked me my question and he just said what question, so I asked again, and again he didn't reply. This morning he said it was because he fell asleep, which considering I replied to him less than 30 seconds after he'd replied to me, I find hard to believe. Then I asked what he was doing a few weeks from now and he said he was going out of town. The weekend I was asking about just so happens to be the weekend for celebrating my birthday, so I asked where he was going out of curiosity and got the reply "out of town". So I understand it's not my business I'm not his girl officially anymore. But that wasn't an answer I expected by any means. Being the one who just about always starts communication, I said I was completely confused because one day he seems I mean something to him and then a few later I don't seem to. He didn't feel the need to reply I guess.I generally keep my mouth shut because of the fact he means so much to me and I'm afraid of losing everything we have completely because I say something wrong. It's odd, I feel so completely attached and at times stupid because when he ignores me or makes it seem like I'm a great imposition, I still cant break away. I love him so incredibly much, it is indescribable. and being young makes me think maybe I don't know what I'm talking about but this is something I can't control and the other part of me tells me this seems to real for me to be only thinking it's true. For now, I wont initiate conversation. It's very difficult when he is what is on my mind every hour of the day whether I want him to be or not. I always believe what he tells me, even if it's an unlikely story. But he so often seems completely uninterested. I'd really like to know what's likely to be happening and what the heck I should do.I don't want to give up on this.I realize the year we shouldn't have a long distance relationship, as it'd put a good bit of strain, but I'd like this to work now so we can at least remain close and have the possibility to rekindle things when I return. He's said he wouldn't be able to get serious with another female while I was gone, but sometimes it just seems most likely things are just said to be said sometimes.If I have to give up on this I can try my damnedest but I REALLY don't want to.I realize I have an issue of making it obvious I feel like I "need" him in my life, which may be irritating.Advice please?
View related questions:
a break, long distance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 April 2008):
 In life, never trust anybody totally.
It is better to be prudent than to be sorry.
When it comes to love, anything can happens because love is blind.
|
