A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I'm kind of seeing this guy from school. I say kind of because we're not officially a couple, I have no idea what we are! We don't talk about it much, and I don't really want everyone to know anyway, my friends wouldn't approve although my mother would! He is really lovely, we spend a lot of time together but it's not going anywhere. We haven't discussed it at all. We're getting more intimate now, I stopped it at Christmas for a month but we're back on now. But my doubts are back. He flirts with my best mate. He occassionally ignores me for her, which hurts, A LOT! I don't know if she is interested or not, she doesn't know about the 'thing' we've been having - and are continuing to have. Should I call it off? Is it worth going through the hurt of him talking to others whilst always relying on having me around to 'have fun' as he calls it? We're not sleeping together or anything, I do retain a little self respect, however we are getting closer. Also, he is moving away in a matter or months, so I would rarely see him. I reckon that's probably a good thing, although it pains me to say it. I really, really like him and when we're together he seems to like me too. That could be because of 'the fun' we're having though couldn't it? :\ How do I know if he wants me for me or just because he can have me and 'I'll do'? And is it worth continuing? I'd love to be his girlfriend, but I have no idea if he'd have me. Do you think he is ashamed of me? It was him that started us talking and started our thing, but maybe he's bored. Now that he doesn't have to chase, perhaps he's lost interest? Sorry for going on! Any advice you could offer would be HUGELY appreciated! Many thanks
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (23 February 2010):
 Way back in the eighties we called it NiCMO for non-committal make out. Now they call it friends with benefits. you have a purely physical relationship. You are both free to seek serious emotional relationships elsewhere. Whatever you call it you can see that it is only filling half of your needs and leading to a lot of jealousy.
Feel free to cut him off any time. Just tell him you decided to save that for someone with more to offer. Sure you will feel lonely and probably horny for a while. The upside is that when you get him out of your system you can move on to a more balanced, healthy relationship. Not that you need to be in a hurry to commit to any one person.
FA
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): Thanks! :) I really don't know if I can get rid of him though! He was texting my friend again today, and he hasn't been in contact at all with me in the past week.
I'm going to miss him! :( despite his 'jerk-ness'!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): u need to talk to him about this, i'm sorry hun but i think u shouldn't see him anymore. u don't need a guy like that
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