A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 9 years. Hubby sex drive very low (app 4 times in a year), refuses to go counselling nor divorce. i am very fustrated at this point. Still in marriage becoz of kids but am giving up. I have tried using tactics to keep flame burning he is not making an effort. Pls help desperate.
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female
reader, rose cleeve  +, writes (30 July 2007):
 Have you tried sitting down and having a 121 chat with him,maybe he feels talking to a total stranger is very daunting and scary. Maybe he has a lot of stress at work that is a huge passion killer for anyone's libido.
Put the kids to bed early cook him his favourite meal, wear a nice outfit then, sit him down and listen to what he has to say. If he is prepared to talk to you, Listen to him and don't interupt what he has to say, communication in any marriage is important.Or if you have a relative or friend to babysit take him to a restaurant and court each other occasionally, like it was when you first met,book a hotel is another good idea that way if you guys do get intimate you won't get any interuptions during your night of passion. Maybe he feels that he is inadequate and frustated that he can't perform like he used and having kids can also put a strain on marriage. You know him being I assume the main breadwinner and feels providing and keeping his family in a happy environment quite tough, that can also can lead to pressure on his behalf, hence his lack of libido. Please let me know how you get on.
Also have your undies drawer stocked up with lacy lingerie and massage oils etc. Make your bedtimes together fun and not a chore. God typing that last sentence has made me go all peculiar lol. Good luck hun x
A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (30 July 2007):
 Hi there babes,
I understand where your coming from you love your husband but you do have your needs, you need to feel loved and your young and you so desperatly want your husband to make love to you....etc...
This is also very hard for a man this is his ego his manhood and probably deep down feels bad that he is not satisfying you, but there are other ways he can do this, he does need to go to the doctors but like most men has refused, just like he has refused councilling....
You should never just be in a relationship just for the kids this is neither fair on you nor your husband and especially the kids, I know this one too well my parents did this and I always knew it......
I know this is a hard time for you babes but if your husband really wont get help and you can't go on then you have to consider is it worth all the pain???
However if you still love him then be patient, loving and tell him how much he means to you (you have probably done all of this by the way), give him time but only you can truely make the right decission babes,
I really hope it all works out for you hun I really do and I do understand the longing of some love honest I do,
Take care of yourself babes,
Love Donna xx
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