A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fella and I have sex only when he’s drunk and I’m beginning to wonder if he’s gay.He’s a lovely guy, but makes no attempt to touch me when he’s sober.We don’t kiss, cuddle or hold hands.Some nights we sit and watch TV at either ends of the settee with no contact at all.Yet put him in a nightclub with a bottle of vodka and he becomes Mr Stud, flirting with every female – and male – in sight.Then it’s back to my place for urgent sex before he falls asleep in a drunken heap.The next day, it’s back to “normality” and sex isn’t tried again until the next binge. I’m too ashamed to discuss this with my mates. I’ve not even talked to my fella about it because it’s so embarrassing. Sometimes I wonder if he avoids sober sex because he’s self-conscious or ashamed of his body. But then I see him twirling around the dancefloor with all the confidence in the world.I know that he has had other girlfriends, but none of them have lasted more than a few months. What’s going on?Lauren
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 Possibly he has more of an alcohol problem than a sex problem, which may also explain the brief duration of some previous affairs. My opinion, based on your description, is also influenced by personal experience.
A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 Best to move on if you can, the way he treats you is unlikely to change and the fact that his previous relationships have only lasted a few months should tell you that it is a deep seated problem and one you will not solve easily or at all. If you don't want to be treated like this for the rest of your life you need to move on...he may not even notice that you have.
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