A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my husband and i have been married for almost 6 yrs we have had children from other realtionships and also have children together. he took a job where he was away from us and i supported him but i missed him terribly and looked elsewhere within a friend for support never strying from my vow the fighting and little things built up to a point where i felt i needed my space i left i also told him i didnt love him anymore and i wanted a divorce but these things werent true . he met a woman online and after a week of chatting with her decided to have a sexual relationship with her. after a very short period of time i found out he told her he loved her.but in the meantime he was trying to work things out with me and our marriage. when i ask him questions the answers are always i dont know he still says he loves me but says my jealousy has to stop and that i need to respect his privacy. i wouldnt be the way i am feeling if he would just stop telling her the things he should be telling me. i dont know what to do. i want to keep our marriage together but i want to give up on it also. i want to know is it over or is it worth the fight?
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divorce, jealous, met online, period Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (3 November 2009):
 A marriage cant work with three people in it! so she has to go forever, he has to see that and if he can reassure you it is over and he is willing to make this work then you need to try and solve your issues too.
This will only work if you both put in the effort and time that it takes to rebuild a relationship back up.
Once an affair has been found the trust goes and other things too, so he has to reassure you whenever he can and show you also that his heart and full commitment is with you now, in return you get help for your issues and i am sure with a lot of hard work here you both can save this marriage.
You told him at one point you didn't love him and wanted a divorce but didn't mean it? I don't understand why you did that unless it was to hurt him for something he did to you, but your plan has backfired on you cause all you did was send him running into another woman's arms!
You see now how these things never solve anything it is always best to confront the reasons why you felt the need to say these things to him in the first place?
I also feel your husband needs to deal with his issues of him having his privacy, in a marriage there is no room for secrets why does he value his privacy so much? i think you both have your work cut out for you to resolve many of the issues you both have, and you can with a lot of hard work and commitment, the choice is up to the both of you what you do, only you will know if it is worth the fight.
Gina
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