A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I enjoy taking turns masturbating ourselves while the other stimulates elsewhere. We were doing that a couple of nights ago, he was masturbating while I was massaging his testicles. I started lowering my fingers slightly to his perineum, to test the water as it were (I like anal play but hadn't done any with him as yet, we've only been together 2 months, I wasn't sure he'd be up for it) and he got really excited, and ended up actually encouraging me to stimulate his anus. We chatted about it afterwards and he said he didn't think he'd ever enjoy that as much as he did (it was his first time.)I tried to do it again tonight and all of a sudden he says he doesn't want to because he's worried it's a bit 'gay'. I guess it's an understandable thing for a man to feel but we both enjoyed it, and nobody else needs to know. What can I say to help him get past this? Thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009): Depending on your upbringing, there's an amazing fear of anything that could remotely brand a guy as gay. I carried it around for years, and would have thought things were different now, but that's how your guy sounds. It's nothing to do with what felt good or that it was a girl doing it.
If I'm right, he may never change. I was probably 40 before I'd really shaken it off. So just be aware that it's a touchy issue and stay away from it.
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (16 March 2009):
 No, this is not a gay thing, when applied by a woman, but it depends on the purpose. If you are attempting a "prostate rub" to increase the amount of ejaculation fluid and male orgasm intensity, then your intent is well-founded.
The process works best while giving a man head (blow job) to climax. Insert your finger about two to three inches and gently rub upward as he approaches climax during oral. This works best when the woman has already demonstrated her willingness and desire to take all his cum. It will likely increase the volume, but it takes a girl willing to handle it orally.
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (16 March 2009):
 Ask him "If it's so gay, then why is the prostate such a pleasurable spot to be stimulated on a man?"
I understand if he does not want to do anal penetration. right away or ever, but if you two discovered something that felt good and pleased both of you, why run from it?
Truth is, the prostate gland is almost the Mecca of male pleasure, and having it stimulated, I hear, is an incredible feeling for men. All you were doing was anal stimulation.
All men, gay and straight, have the same parts. Why would he want to deny himself access to his own body? And plus, how is having his girlfriend touch him gay? Ask him to explain that contradiction.
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A
male
reader, Tewebag +, writes (16 March 2009):
he probley talked with someone about it (probley a guy). we guys are very immature as a rule (not all of us) but if hes talking to his buddys about his sexual encounters and said it turned him on really well, they probley went "haha bob likes it in his ass! hahaha". talk to him about it yourself we cant really explain it to you when we dont know him. personally i dont care how well it feels i dont want to do it at all. he may also be like that too.
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