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female
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*ngeleyes73004
writes: well my boyfriend and i have been on and off for 7 years now ive cheated and told him not long after it happened i felt guilty so i understood y it was hard to trust me but a couple of weeks ago i had heard from friends of mine that he doesnt know that he had a baby with another woman i confronted him and he confessed but lied about her name and the baby well the deeper i dug the more i found out even in his confession he lied im tryin to get past it trying to move on with hi but eveerytime he doesnt pick up his phone or says hes coming over and doesnt i think hes with her. ive spoken with her and she says she doesnt want to be with him because he keeps running back to me. he kept this affair a secret for 2 years if not longer i feel i might never trust him because she is now apart of his life forever he tells me that its me he wants to be with but word arent enough are things worth working on or should i move on?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2006): I am in the same boat as you. I found out my partner has had so many affairs he cant remember. He has never told me the truth and i just keep finding more revelations. He has got two pregnant. Given me dozens of sex diseases. Promised me time again he loves me and it wont happen again. Makes me sleep with prostitutes and other men telling me it will help me get over it all. He is the most charming wonderful man and everyone thinks i am lucky. He has a high powered job and is well respected. My point? I hav tried for 4 years now to move on and stay and work it out. We hav been married thirteen years. He is im afraid the most manipulative man i hav ever met. I am in the process of leaving. Its hard. I am crushed. he is not the man i thought. This is the same for you. You will never get over it. You hav to accept its over and get out while you hav your sanity. He will blame you. Dont waste your breathe arguing. You need your strength to make plans for a new future. Dont sacrifice your soul. Just take the painful plunge. It will get better. You are tolerant and kind hearted to hav tried but it will happen again. That i know. A man like this has No introspection. He will externalisf all this but never blame himself. Not meaning it anyway. please make a new future for yourself. Hard at that may be right now it will all get better eventually. Big hug. Be true to yourself. Xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2006):
I really feel distress in your message. I think you owe it to yourself to move on from this horrible situation. I think you should maybe consider it lucky that you do not have a child with this man. Therefore, make a clean break. Do whatever necessary to ensure you don't see him again, and then work at rebuilding your confidence. Put this behind you and in the future, when you are ready, perhaps you will want to meet someone brand new, whom does not have this kind of horrible history with you.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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female
reader, angeleyes73004 +, writes (23 November 2006):
angeleyes73004 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2006): I think you both should move on. You both have cheated on each other over a 7 year relationship, and he kept you in the dark for 2 years of that and hid a whole child from you? You are really delusional to think there is anything to work on here. Neither of you trust or respect each other or you would not behave like this....the relationship is nothing more than a security blanket for you both and you need to cut the cord....these are very bad character flaws and he will not change, trust me.
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A
female
reader, bex108 +, writes (23 November 2006):
to be truthfully honest i dont think you should work on it your going to make yourself ill if you do thinking he is with someone else everytime he's not with you. i no it was wrong that you cheated on him but you told him it happened he didn't have the decency to even tell you the truth when you asked him. im sorry but i belive that if he truly wanted you then you would of known everything and you would of known it from him.
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A
female
reader, bex108 +, writes (23 November 2006):
to be truthfully honest i dont think you should work on it your going to make yourself ill if you do thinking he is with someone else everytime he's not with you. i no it was wrong that you cheated on him but you told him it happened he didn't have the decency to even tell you the truth when you asked him. im sorry but i belive that if he truly wanted you then you would of known everything and you would of known it from him.
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