A
female
age
36-40,
*cgirl23
writes:Hi I am going to start from the beginning. I left my husband of 8 years almost a year ago. I started dating my boyfriend shortly after I left my husband. We have now been together for 7 months and I love him very much. We just found out I am three months pregnant and are both really excited! He is really good to me. Actually the best boyfriend I have ever had. There is one thing bothering me. He keeps talking about being with other girls and me. I know that this is every guys fantasy and I'm ok with that. I've also been in the situation before and that was fine and all then because I was young and wild. I also had been with my ex husband for 5 years before that even took place. My boyfriend and I are still fresh in the relationship and I don't understand why he thinks we need that in our relationship right now. He keeps saying stuff like "We should be Mormons". In case you didn't know Morman's have like five wives a piece. He also keeps sending me links to these Fling sites. I just think I'm looking for something solid between us right now. I'm looking to build something different than I've ever had. I guess a more mature relationship. We were instant messaging today and I asked him if he wanted to be with other women or something because he's always talking about it and he didn't respond, so I said I have to go. He told me he was on the phone and that's why he didn't answer me, but then still didn't answer my question. I love him very much, but I dont' know what to do. I don't want to nag, but how else do I go about this? Is this normal?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2007): Firstly, the desire for a guy to have multiple women is a normal fantasy. However in realtionships it's a big no-no to suggest this overtly to your girlfriend!
I must confess I have been in your boyfriend's position. I did pester one of my old girlfirends about the idea of having a threesome or getting with other girls.
Now that I think about it, I guess I was just unhappy with her sexually. Sex was good and entertaining and she was pretty - but I reckon I had a high sex drive. I realised overtime it made her uhappy and we eventually split after 2 years the intimacey had died - partly because of me being a pest.
For you, you should consider this bad behaviour and tell him so. Make sure he knows how you feel about it.
Sorry I can't help much here, but thought I would share my story.
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