A
female
age
51-59,
*izarosa
writes:my fiance has never given me oral and nor has he had an orgasm. This worries me. I always give him oral, he loves it. I've tried to talk to him about it but he changes the subject he also has never given me a passionate kiss, just quick pecks; he won't do french kisses, says he doesn't like tongues. When i try (and i have several times) to get a passionate snog, he turns away and says "no i don't like it". Help please!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Relationships can't be just about him. It has to be about you as well...sex plays a very important role in building a good relationship and if either or both of you aren't satisfied, it will affect other aspect of your life as well. He hasn't had an orgasm ever? Is he against that as well???Talk to him about his sexual history ....maybe sometime in his past he faced a kind of abuse, either physical or mental, that has made him the way he is. Ask him why next time. If he has gone through something like that, get him professional help to overcome it.Another thing is he this selfish in normal life as well?? If he is, you really need to rethink because you should never, ever be with a selfish person. It isn't fair to you !
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (22 February 2008):
 My question would have to be, "Why is this less than passionate man your fiance?" I really do not intend to be insensitive, because I would not be here if the case, but why do passionate women hook up with such cold fish? It simply baffles me, because men who have settled into a pattern of only seeking pleasure for themselves are rarely going to change.
There is some confusion in your question, however. You say that you perform orally for him, but he never has a climax? That's weird. The answer seems that you are possibly doing what you can to inspire sexual adventure, which he apparently enjoys to some degree, but is less interested in pleasuring you. That would seem the margin of your future intimate life.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (21 February 2008):
 OMG it must be like kissing a flipping tortoise. I couldn't bear it if my boyfriend did not show me any passion when it comes to being kissed, he would be my ex by now. Intimacy is a two way thing, it must be like making love to a corpse (ewww not that I tried) lol, but you get the picture. Maybe he was never shown any affection as a child and does not know how to show it.
I really think you guys need to talk about the intimacy in your relationship before you get married, otherwise it could stagnate and you could be stuck in a loveless marriage with absolutely no passion or compromise.
Go and see a sex therapist, if you feel that it is going to be a major problem in your relationship, because it does help to be sexually compatible in a relationship. I think that it is an important recipe for a long and happy marriage amongst other things.
Good Luck. Dusky xxx.
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A
female
reader, elmofudge +, writes (21 February 2008):
Maybe you should lay off giving him oral for a while and see if he makes any comments or moves, being less passionate may spur him on to wonder what he has to do to rekindle things. Sure enough, you don't give him oral to get it in return but this sexual relationship is a little one-sided and he should be doing stuff to you in return purely out of love for you. My comment to him not liking tongues it that he seems to like your tongue when its giving him oral and lets be honest here, penises aren't the most attractive of things. I don't see why he has an issue with you putting your tongue against his when he doesn't have a problem with it going elsewhere. Maybe he is just not the really passionate type. It is good you have tried to talk to him about this, maybe he changes the subject because he doesn't really know how to please you best with oral. Maybe the idea scares him but I don't think he should dismiss it before he's tried it. If he says he doesn't like the idea of giving you oral then just say that your not that keen on giving it to him but you do because you want to pleasure him. Good luck.
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