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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Usually, me and my partner have sex in the missionary position. I'm not sure I like this as much as I did to begin with though, for several reasons.1) It's hard to change into other positions, as he is in charge.2) He jokes that I don't do much during it!But what can I do, when he is totally in charge, and I'm ''just lying there with my legs open''??I dont understand what it is that I should be doing, apart from joining in in the sense that I move with his in-out motion.Also, please could you give me some other positions, that perhaps give him a lot of the pleasure, but that dont hurt me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (12 January 2008):
 Here's a few tips for a bit more control. Put a pillow under your butt to tip your pelvis upwards, it can help. You can grip behind under his butt with your heels and pull him in. You can also wrap your legs around the small of his back. You can put your legs over his shoulders. Don't forget where your hands are! It adds to the moment, and holding his head a certain way that he likes or gripping his biceps or wrists can be stimulating as well. You can reach under and grab his thighs and pull them forward.
The simple fact is, you are not going to get that much control when you are on your back, just because of his weight on top of you! It's a bit easier to get control of your hips and use them if you are close enough to the headboard to brace yourself with your hands against it to control your movements.
Other than that, I'd just go with waterloo sunset and wear the clown suit! LOL! Sorry, couldn't resist the bit of levity there!
A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (12 January 2008):
I'm not YOUR guy, but I AM a male guy person of the opposite sex so maybe I can give some insight.
Being on top doesn't automatically make him "totally in charge". In general, being the person on top - guy or girl - does make it easier to orgasm. (Another way to put it: if you'd like to slow him down so you can enjoy it longer, put him on the bottom.) But if he's mashing you into the mattress so you can't move, you really should speak to him. Or write him a note. Or print out this web page and put it where only he will find it, when he's alone. A gentleman bears most of his weight on his arms and knees, not on his partner! (Though occasionally my wife actually likes to feel mashed into the mattress while I climax.)
It's always nice to feel that my partner is as turned-on and involved in the coupling as I am. It's one thing to meet my strokes, but quite another to make the unlady-like hip motions that say, "I want to envelope your manhood at least as much as you want to be inside my womanhood!".
You can vary his sensations (and yours as well) by how you hold and shift your legs. Pull them back against your chest and he can go deep - he needs to be careful not to hurt you by bottoming out. Cross your legs over his at the knees and you two can move together through some pretty aggressive thrusting. Wrap them around his hips, either ankles crossed behind his back or your feet pointed at the ceiling, and you can show him the rhythm you like best. Bring your legs together, straight and flat, so your legs are between his - and you can use your thighs to work his erection so it touches you in "just the right places". This may also accelerate his climax - it's how my wife says, "I've had my main orgasm, now it's time for you to cum so we can move on to the intimate cuddle time of afterglow.".
As for positions - there must be a jillion web sites (as well as good printed material like "Joy of Sex" and "More Joy of Sex") that describe, discuss, and illustrate them much better than we can do here.
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A
female
reader, naturesb +, writes (12 January 2008):
 What! I've never heard of the missionary position and I wonder if he is the one who thought of it. He doesen't seem to be respectful to you when he jokes. What do you mean "he is in charge" Did he think of that too. You are young and sexual relationships can be confusing, young men can be immature when it comes to confidentiality and respect for your feelings. I hope you don't get hurt.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): Ask him just what he wants you to do, wear a clown suit!!!!!
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (11 January 2008):
 Ok well put your legs right round him and pull him really close as you move with him also you can play with yourself as your doing it, you could put your legs over his shoulders for a change, another great position where you can take control is you go on top means you can go at your own pace and he doesnt have to do anything and im sure he will love it (most guys do) theres also doggy (you on your hands and knee's) which most guys seem to like and feels pretty good.
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A
female
reader, LULU'S Advice +, writes (11 January 2008):
 Just turn the tables my love.You sit on top of him and then your in control.That should surprise him.Also,one of my favourites is doggy style.If your not very experienced,positions wise,you can always use the internet,or the library.Just learn to lose your inhibitions and you'll be surprised at what you can achieve. xx
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