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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been letting a married man touch me for the past 3 years. He is 29 years old, married, and has 3 children. I honestly try to make a good effort and tell him to stop, but I can't. When he starts touching me, it feels good that I can't say no. There are times I ignore so I can try and stop the touching and flirting, but it's hard. It's hard because he is very close to my family and I always see him. I'll be at my aunt't house and he'll be there and he will stare at me. If he is next to me, he'd find a way to touch me, even when there are people around. Somtimes he'll touch me even if there are people upstairs, while we are downstairs. I don't know what to do! I know it's wrong to let him touch me but I can't say no to him. Please help me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): Tell his wife about his sickness, ask her what she think about her husband, also invite her to the parties where both of you come across.
Some wemen make up stories to get importance, but flirting is normal in society, sometimes you may be showing cues that he has mistaken, check how you dress up, any flirting or sexual cues you unknowingly passing on to this man, if not it is good to tell him directly and make an issue, tell him to fuck off when he touch you nex time, if he still touch you, tell some male members of your family, let them handle it.You also can walk around with another man, who is bit good looking than this guy and showoff and flirt around, even for a paid actor or your unknown relative will do the job.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): I have recently learned the hard way (badly broken heart) that being touched in a seductive way by a man who isn't really available can be his way of "conquering" without having to suffer the consequences of actually cheating (although my fellow went a little further and also speculated with me about "maybe someday when the time was right"...). Be aware he may like the reminder that he is exciting to women other than his wife, and he may actually find you desirable and/or safe, but how long has it been? Have you talked to him about it? Do you worry that IF you say anything too direct it will stop? Or is he really waiting that patiently for a sign he can go farther? Really, if a man is unavailable in any way, he will be unavailable. You deserve a total relationship, so figure out if his unavailability "gives" you something, be truthful with yourself if not him, and go for the relationship that really will nurture your heart without question!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): He's a creep, and nothing more. Tell him so, and mean it.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (27 October 2006):
 You are addicted to the thrill of the situation. Unfortunately this is a lose-lose situation for everyone concerned. The guy is a sleeze if he is touching you when (a) he is married and (b) there is an audience. I feel sorry for his wife but anyway...why settle for being pawed by someone elses husband? It is just cheap. If he is touching you then how can you be sure he isnt at it with a dozen other ladies. Where do you think this is going? You must know he is just a bored married man looking for a fling with you. He won't leave his wife and kids, and even if he did then you could never trust him because he is cheating with you on his wife so that personality trait never goes away...avoid this guy if you are feeling vulnerable to his charms...see your family separately.
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A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (27 October 2006):
 First and foremost, you know yourself that it is wrong that you let him touch you. And you say touch, do you mean sexually or non sexual (like patting on your lap, etc)? But whatever it is, they both are still wrong in my opinion. If its just a one off pat on the lap, then its alright, but come on now, who are we kidding, this guy is blatantly flirting with you and you know it! Ever heard of prevention is better than cure? Well, you should have never allowed it to have gone this far in the first place, and now its like a drug to you, like you like it, yet you know its wrong. You have to go cold turkey on this, meaning tell him to stop it and look him in the eye when you do it, and never let it happen again. Yes its hard, but you will be proud of yourself when you rid yourself of this guilt trip that you have on yourself about this whole thing. And besides, hes not the only man in the world you can have a flirt with! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (27 October 2006):
 Learn to say no and stop being used by a married man who doesnt have any respect for women including his own wife.
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