A
female
age
,
*oris67
writes:Dear Sir/MadamI have been dating a real gentleman for the last three months. Nothing is to much trouble for him and our relationship is growing day by day. He is perfect in almost every way and i have found myself falling in love with him. Now bearing in mind i am a lady of considerable age though only in number i really am young at heart. Since i got divorced from my last partner over 10years ago i have led a lonely life with no sexual activity.We have recently started a sexual relationship and all seemed fine at first. However over the last couple of weeks things have taken a alarming turn.He has started to ask to wear my clothing while we conduct sexual activity. Thinks like my underwear and even more strangely my slippers. He has also started to pester me for anal sex and other strange things such as for me to spank him with the slippers.What shall i do? He is a wonderful man in most ways and i dont want to loose him.ThankyouDoris
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): Confuse or repulse?
Sex is weird, you say you are old (oh okay, considerable age) and haven't had sex in ten years. To put it mildly, could your sexual experiences be a bit on the conservative side?
You met a new man, you love him, he loves you but he wants things in the bed room that are new to you.
But I do NOT read in your post that they really offend you. You are just confused. Perhaps you fear what society thinks? Nobody's business what goes on behind closed doors.
Does it upset you that he wants to wear your clothing? It is NOT an uncommon fetish and if it makes him happy and it doesn't make you UNhappy, were is the harm?
As for the anal sex, well that can be a pain in the butt (sorry couldn't resist) and you might well feel it is against how you were brought up, but are you letting society pressure you into what you do in the bedroom?
If you don't hate the idea of it, try it. If it hurts to much stop it, if he is a gentleman he won't insist. If you like it, well congrats you discovered something new and if it is somewhere in the middle, well it can be a special treat, maybe there is something YOU really want to do as well?
The bedroom is where two people meet to have fun. Even if two people love each other they are very likely to have different wishes, part of a relationship is to find some compromise both are willing to agree too.
On the other hand, if you feel you do NOT want to do the things he wants to do, then you shouldn't. But make sure it is because YOU don't want to, not because society tells you.
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (9 March 2008):
 It sounds as if your boyfriend has some fetishes that are very uncomfortable or strange to you. There may even be other fetishes you would dislike. If he continues to insist on activities that make you uncomfortable or unhappy, it may be time for you to reconsider the relationship. You should be happy and comfortable with intimacy.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (9 March 2008):
 Oh sweetheart I realise that you have been on your own for some time but that does not mean that you have to stay in a relationship with someone who is asking you to do things you are uncomfortable with.
We all want to be wanted but if the sexual acts are not satisfying for you and you feel uncomfortable then don't put up with it. Try and talk to him about how you feel.
A true gentleman would understand and if he doesn't then I'm afraid he isn't the gentleman you thought he was.
There are millions of men in the world and finding the right one is never easy so don't be put off because you are older as life is for the living so there could be someone out there who doesn't ask for sexual activities that you are not comfortable with and always remember that OK.
I realise you have fallen for this man but it doesn't give him the right to do anything with you that he feels like. You have to feel comfortable with the man of your dreams OK, not settle for second best because you think this is your last chance as it's not OK.
Take care and here for you any time.
BFN
Country Woman
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