A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I think my friends playing mind games although he says he isnt and ''respects me''he flirts one minute, (when we are drunk he tries to kiss me nearly every time we go out. we came close to having sex one night but we stopped)..then the next week he acts distant and the next minute we are best friends again until he does something to hurt me the next week :(..last weekend he left me standin alone at 3am and promised he would be back in 2 minutes.. hes also done a few other things to upset me such as tell people personal details that we nearly had sex (i was so angry).. do you think he even deserves my friendship let alone my kisses? he says he loves me to bits but its not what he says its what he does that upsets me.. im just dreading seeing him this weekend and need advice
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 January 2009):
From the fact that you are so willing to let him kiss you and nearly have sex, it sounds like you want more than friendship with him.
I think he just wants to be friends and the fact he's an unreliable friend is just hurting you because it feels like rejection every time.
I think he may just be a bit of a useless bloke who is not good with drink, but either way it doesn't sound like being friends with him is doing you any favours.
Tell him you can't deal with him and the fact he lets you down all the time and stop seeing him.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice :)
ur right I can do deserve so much better than this!x
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (23 January 2009):
 Hey sweetness,
This guy is so not worth your friendship let alone your kisses!! Definitely cut off the kisses, because he is taking advantage of them. You do not want to turn into a booty call who he strings around! He has proved himself as a creeper... and if he wants to be with you, he's got to learn to respect you.
He's definitely playing mind games with you and you could be doing a lot better than that! Seriously, leaving you by yourself at 3am? That just proves how insensitive he really is, if he genuinely cared about you like he should, he wouldn't be doing dumb crap like that and leaving you in a potentially dangerous situation. A real man takes care of you, he doesn't abandons you! Ditch this loser, he's no good.
Good luck, sweetness!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2009): You're right to think he's playing games, because he is. He might not be doing it intentionally he might be confused or something, but the result is the same.
He says he respects you but his actions tell you otherwise, he obviously doesn't respect you and probably isn't interested in you, it seems he gets horny when he's drunk and "you'll do" as harsh as that sounds.
Leaving a girl standing on her own at 3am is inexcusable, I'm Irish and it's just not done, he left you in a very dangerous situation and obviously didn't think of the possible consequences. This shows he has no regard for your safety and he only thinks about himself. Would you leave a friend vulnerable and alone?
Telling people personal details about you also isn't done, this shows that you can't trust him.
Look, he wants you when it suits him and when it doesn't he couldn't give a crap what happens to you, is this what you want in a friend? You deserve to be treated better than that and if you are going to see him this weekend keep him at bay and ignore him and if he does his usual randy crap push him away and tell him to F*** OFF!
He's walking all over you it will do you no good to let it coninue. Take care!
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