A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:He hasn't texed me or called me since we had sex. Is he over it now that I gave him what he wanted or should I just text him. We were talking about having a relationship but one thing led to another and we had sex. I am just not sure why he hasn't texted me when he seemed fine when I left and he even said he would text me and see me soon. I usually say the guy will text me if he wants to see me. But he hasn't and it has been 5 days since we had sex. Should I break the ice and ask to see him again or should I wait for him????
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male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (29 November 2010):
as blunt as it sounds, he's got what he wanted, now he's not interested. sorry. live, learn and move on.
A
female
reader, breannaleal +, writes (28 November 2010):
i think he needs a little time id give him a week then u txt him and find out whats up, i wouldnt let a jerk do that to me. just have sex and forget my number
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (27 November 2010):
Hi there. Sometimes if sex is given away too easily, it doesn't seem interesting or challenging enough to a guy, to make any further effort.
As tempting as it often is to have sex on a first date, it does cheapen things, because it tells a guy that you probably just jump into bed with anyone. At any rate, he has probably made that assumption.
I wouldn't suggest texting him, because it can make you appear needy and desperate, which are two really unattractive qualities in a woman. It can make a man withdraw altogether.
Even if he had a big ego and might want some women to chase him, most men would rather be in control as far as deciding whether to see or not see a woman again, is concerned. They are mostly pretty old fashioned, regardless of their age.
Even though you liked him a fair bit, it would be far wiser for you, to hold off doing anything and keep your self respect. Then, just see what happens in another week or two. If there is no contact by him, well then consider that that's it, and it's over.
In future, it would be wiser to let a guy spend some money on you, take you to nice places, see movies or shows, and to show you that he likes and respects you generally. Perhaps you could wait 3 or 4 dates, before deciding whether to have sex with them or not. Consider to yourself, if you think they are worthy of giving that sacred part of yourself to.
Then you will always then be treated well, and not just for sex. Guys will get to know you and what interests you, and will begin to build a good rapport with you. Then the sex will be that much more special - to both of you, as a result.
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A
female
reader, MAGGIE2010 +, writes (27 November 2010):
 well so no text or calls in 5 days.I hate to tell you this but you where played.I hate players and cant stand to be in the presents of them.But on the other hand maybe he is waiting for you to text him.Some guys wait for the girl to call or text,its a ego thing with them.If i was you i would defentally text him and just say "hey whats up havent heard from you in few days",and if he dont reply then you have your answer.Are you sure he is not married or in a relationship with someone else.NEVER NEVER have sex on the first night.Make them deserve you and want you before you give in.
But then again some guys are just jerks and you maybe better off without this dude.so you have to ask yourself a few questions.
1.was the sex worth it to chase this guy
2.Is he married or in a relationship
3.Is it worth your time and effort or are you better than
what was done to you.
4.What do you want.
I know i may of not been any help but believe me i have been in your shoes more than once. Hope you find your answer.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (27 November 2010):
 The thing about being played, is that the players are so good at their game that you don't even realize you are being played until it has already happened.
But that might not be the case. I would text him and be very blunt and straightforward about what it is you want to know. Ask him, "Was it just sex or was it something more?" because in these days, if you don't ask, then you won't know.
Its more than likely he will feed you a line and tell you it was more than sex and then never talk to you again, but there is also a chance that he might genuinely want a relationship with you.
You need to take initiative and find out what is going through his brain right now. Some guys like the girls to make first contact after having sex for the first time.
I hope this helps you and please, keep me updated okay? We have all been in this situation. (At least I have.)
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 November 2010):
 Mmm..if you guys weren't in a relationship and you already had sex and he hasn't called you back..then yes that spells out he got what he wanted so now he's gone. Especially if you guys were going strong and then discussing a relationship. All of a sudden he's gone cold turkey.
The general timeline a guy can go without texting or calling is 3 days. Any longer then I question their interest. You could call or text him..just to see what his response is. If you get no response then you definitely know he just wanted sex.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 Give it another two or three days, some people think it only appropriate to text a week after anything happens and whilst that should not be the case here, it is still a possibility.
If he does not text, I am afraid he was only with you for sex, telling you what you wanted to hear and making you feel as though this would become something. If that is the case, it is a lesson learned. Get to know someone better before having sex with them.
I suppose you could always text him first and see what happens. He may be afraid because he does not want to seem clingy or desperate. That does seem most likely here.
I hope that helps.
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