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*londegal017
writes: My boyfriend of almost nine months broke up with me 2 days ago because I gave him too much "drama." The supposed drama I gave him was pressure to be sweet to me and to not snap at me constantly. We have been so good for each other and so happy until we had a huge fight about 2 weeks ago. Then the other night, I asked him to give me some kind of reassurance that we could try and work through our problems once he graduates from school. (Hhe has 3 jobs, 18 credits of college, and me to deal with) so he says our realtionship was too dramatic and put too much stress on him, so he dumped me. We still talk, and he still tells me he loves me. I miss him terribly and want to have him back so badly. When asked, he also says he doesn't know if he made the wrong decison or not, and that he wants to concentrate on finals for the next week or so.He says nothing changed in the two weeks since our fight and that he doesn't see anything changing in the future. What should I do to let him know I want to give it a second chance and that we both have to change? help!
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 April 2005):
 It could be because he is under so much stress that he feels he can't handle the relationship at the moment. People deal with stress in different ways and some of us are better at coping with it than others. It seems he isn't too good at dealing with having so much on his plate.Judging from what you have said, I wouldn't have thought you were unjustified in asking for reassurance, that you weren't being too demanding but obviously it was too much for him.I would reccommend you waiting until he has finished his finals and just be there for him if he needs you. If he loves you then he will want to resume your relationship. However, he does have to realise also that it takes two to make a relationship work.You will have to pick your moment carefully when he isn't feeling stressed or under pressure if you still want to be with him. Then talk about how you want the relationship to work because it did work well before but that you believe he was under a lot of stress to manage everything which would account for him being so stroppy. Ask him to explain why he feels nothing is likely to change in the future. Explain how you both have to compromise to make it work.You may find that once his stress decreases that he will have second thoughts about breaking up with you but the best thing to do is wait until the time is right before approaching him.I do hope this helps.
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