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He has to hide me from his adult kids or they have a fit!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 September 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 September 2007)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

i have been asking question on this site for the past few days. i am in my 60's and my bf of 2yrs 8 months is in his 60's. his kids are 35 and 39 years old and they run his life. they told him to break up with me in july because they didn't think i was the one for him. do you think this is a role reversal? his kids married people that he didn't want them too, but they still did it. he tells me that his kids did not tell him to break up with me..........this is hard to believe because i know them. they have a lot of needs and they always want him available to meet these needs. as i have said before, my kids are very independent and have good marriages. his kids do not have healthy marriages. i have told him that he needs to let them be on their own because when he leaves this world, they will not know what to do. the son-in-law and daughter-in-law are so worried about the inhertance that their spouces will get one day. that is way they hang in their with his children. this man jumps when one of his kids need him and even his extended family wants him not to date so that he can go fishing and hunting with his brother-in-law when ever, where ever. please someone tell me how i should handle this one.i love him very much and he tells me he loves me.this is why he is hiding me. i have to lay down in the back seat when he takes me to his house so the neighbors will not see me because they will call his daughter and tell her that i am at his house. his son saw us together 3 wks ago and fussed his father out saying that the son-in-law would raise the roof if he found out we were back together. i have told him and his kids, i do not want any of his money and neither do my kids. they all work 40 hours week jobs and are very successful.

please help me as i am desperate as to what to do about this. i am very lonely and really hate to leave this relationship. please help me..i really need it. thanks

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007):

That is HORRIBLE him making you lay down in the back seat because his neighbor or someone may see you!!! You should not have to hide. You have done nothing wrong. Doesn't he have a will made out, because if he does, and you're not on it, that will put the kid's minds at ease that you aren't getting anything when he dies. However you should not have to prove anything to them. Why does he feel like he owes his kids his entre life? So much so that he is not allowed to have a girlfriend? That is just inssane.

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A female reader, Gemini1506 United Kingdom +, writes (20 September 2007):

I think like all kids they are probably just looking out for their father. They are just handling it in the wrong way. They seem very needy which is weird for 30 years olds to be (with their father)

Get your partner to tell them straight they dont run his life, you are all grown ups and that they should just accept that he's in love with you

If they cant do that what happens when their kids find people they wouldnt want to be controlled in this matter so your partners children really need to learn to stay out of your bf's private life

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