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He has only made love to me twice in 5 years!

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 September 2011)
A female Canada age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have been living with my boyfriend for the last 9 years after moving from the UK to Canada to be with him. I love him more than anything, but there is a problem with our relationship in the bedroom department. He has only made love to me twice in the last 5 years, and I dont know why. Love making was amazing before that. I am not unatractive, I eat healthy, my weight was 150LB. I lost weight as I felt too fat I am now a slim 138LB. I am physically fit a runner.... I am starting to feel depressed something I have never felt before, I cannot concentrate on anything, and I dont have anyone I can talk to. I dont know what to do. I know there is no one else in his life. I want to move into the spare room but if I do I feel that will be the end of us. Please what can I do I have tried talking to him about the way we are and how I feel, and he says he is sorry and that he does not know what is wrong. He did go see the Doctor and he gave him Viagra what ever he gave him that for I dont know as thats not the problem. I always have to make the move to talk about this, and feel angry and upset that he just hides that there is a problem. Do you have any suggestions that will help.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2011):

Im so sorry for you, always difficult when this happens, and hard to discuss for a man because of his pride. But its clearly and naturally hurting you, making you feel neglected, unwanted, low...

Have you ever instigated sex yourself? Can you talk openly about this situation, is there stress, how is is mood? It is hard to say why this is happening, but I feel a good long heart to heart is whats needed. Something is clearly bothering him, and you deserve to know.. If you have no luck, maybe this relationship has run its course. I do hope everything works out for you xx

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 August 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntHas he had his testosterone checked?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011):

I am surprised you've stuck it this long to be honest. And as he's sought medical help and you've talked and still you are going without - you have to ask if it's important enough to leave him for.

Does he meet your needs in all other areas? Have you tried going to counselling together? Does he have financial worries or work problems?

Nothing excuses the fact he's leaving you without physical contact and no explanations so I would head for the spare room and see what happens.

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