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He forced himself on me but it didn't hurt. Does that mean I am still a Virgin?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 December 2007) 11 Answers - (Newest, 28 December 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, *weetheart1nonly writes:

I don't know what happened here. My boyfriend and I were making out when he removed my clothes and told put his penis down there, he said he wouldn't penetrate that we are just playing. Before I knew it he was using force though I didn't feel any pain, then he came/cum. I went to check myself in the bathroon and I saw blood. I was so scared as I didn't feel any pain but he said he disvirgined me but I told him no that nothing happened to me. He said he put his penis in there and that was why there was blood, that he felt it, and I told him no that I didn't feel anything. I checked myself but still can't put my finger through so I'm confused am I still a virgin or what? Please would need your help.

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (28 December 2007):

sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks a lot guys for your help, I love it,Things are still very good

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A female reader, Oblivia Sweden +, writes (27 December 2007):

Oblivia agony auntHi,

Whether you are still a virgin or not is impossible for anyone else here to tell. Some would say that you can do all sorts of sexual things and unless you penetrate you are still a virgin. Others would say that since sex is so much more than only penetration, and being sexually active they way you’ve described it here, means you are no longer a virgin, penetration or not. So it is up to you to choose a definition of virginity here.

Did he penetrate or not; You say you didn’t feel it happen and he says he did anyway. Who do you believe? The vagina doesn’t have senses all the way inside, only the parts close to the opening, but considering it would be your first time and you say he is big, then I think you should have known if he had penetrated, so maybe he didn’t. I still think that you should be careful with guys who say they will not do something you told them you don’t want, and then they try it anyway. But if you don’t feel bad about it and you truly trust him and feel safe around him, then I would say everything is alright and you shouldn’t worry. Trust your gut feelings.

Where did the blood come from and why can’t you penetrate; The hymen can very well brake from a force like the one you describe in your post, even though no actual penetration. You should however be able to penetrate through even if you still had the hymen. It is not placed over the opening as a lid that won’t let anything through, it is a membrane on the side inside the vagina and you should be able to for example pass a tampon by it without necessarily brake it.

And if you do break the hymen without having had sex (penetration here), then you are still a virgin anyway.

I hope this helped a little and will give you some peace on this.

Best wishes!

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (27 December 2007):

sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I already took the pill the next day as I wasnt sure, Thanks a lot guys so does that mean I'm not a virgin and what explains the fact I cant penetrate

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A female reader, truly_unique New Zealand +, writes (26 December 2007):

aw sweetness...he said he wouldnt do it and he did. thats not right. also get yourself checked for pregnancy or STIs because you are at risk whether you admit to it or not. better be safe then sorry.

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (21 December 2007):

sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question

His penis is large, I felt it at the surface, he didn't penetrate but I don't know where the blood was from

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A female reader, xapathyxrebornx United Kingdom +, writes (21 December 2007):

xapathyxrebornx agony auntHun ok first thing, if he came anywhere near you vagina you at risk of pregnancy.

Secondly, it sound like you aren't a virgin any more. You might not have felt anything being lost in the moment.

If what you say is right the bleeding WAS your hymen breaking. you may not be able to penetrate though with your finger, but hun you can even with a hymen so if you ...how to put it nicely... feel around and explore your body, i bet you can penetrate with your finger.

Just takes time to learn.

I suggest you talk to your boyfriend too. He said to you he would not prenetrate you and he did. Another reason you didn't feel it was because maybe he didn't go too far inside or maybe he's uhm ...less endowed as they say...

Message me for more advice hun x

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (17 December 2007):

sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys and It wasnt rape cos I agreed though I didnt want penetration and still can't penetrate through so I still think Im a virgin cos whenever we are playing down there, he cum, but I dont feel it inside me, it's only touching the surface.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007):

dont listen he didnt rape you.. if u didnt want it to hapeen you would of said.. hes your boyfriend and is obviously still with you he loves you.. and no i definetly dont think your a virgin

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (15 December 2007):

sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys but it's not like he forced himself on me like that, we were making out and his penis was close to mine, sometimes I'll tell him to stop and he will stop butlike I said I didnt feel any pain or anything entering me but where did the blood come from? It might be my hymen yes but I still cant penetrate through it and to also add, he is a very nice person, he didnt want to rape me or anything

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (15 December 2007):

Fairy_Lu agony auntWell im not to sure if your a virgin or noti dont really know what happend but id dump this LOSER what a jerk forcing yourself on you to me thats RAPE!

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A female reader, Oblivia Sweden +, writes (15 December 2007):

Oblivia agony auntIt looks to me as if you are not a virgin anymore. I would be very concerned about seeing this boyfriend again, penetrating you by force is not a loving, caring act of a boyfriend and looks more like a rape to me. Be careful with this guy and think it over if he is a kind of a guy you want to continue going out with.

Good luck!

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