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He flirts with me, but doesn't want to date me because I'm his friend's ex

Tagged as: Friends, Long distance, Love stories<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 November 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2009)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

okay so im having a bit of a problem.

about 3 years ago i met my ex and we were together for a year and a half he was my first love. he introduced me to his best friend straight away and i thought he was lovely. about a year into the relationship we had a party at our house in which his best friend came along too.

Now my ex isnt the nicest of people, he was mentally abusuve and sometimes physicaly. he had a few drinks and as usual he started mouthing off about me in front of his pals. i could see his best pal getting madder and madder and eventually he said he was leaving so i walked him to the door. he asked me if i was okay and i said yes but i could tell he didnt believe me.

he just looked at me and started to lean in then stopped and walked out and we never spoke alot after that but still talked. i knew i liked him more than i should after that. 6 months later me and my ex broke up but me and his pal kept in touch. a couple of months later i told him i liked him but he brushed me off saying he couldnt do it to his pal (which i understand completely) but we acted like nothing had happened and we started to meet up quite alot for games of pool.

well this has been going on up until now. i have just moved to england as i dont get on with my parents up in scotland and thought i could do with a change. i told him and he said ok and that he would miss me and come visit. so i had a leaving night a couple of days ago and we talked all night and i knew i was starting to fall for him even more. well he was cuddling into me all night and out of nowhere he leaned in and kissed me and i just melted in his arms it was perfect.

now im in england i cant get him out of my mind and i have only been here 2 days!! we talk on msn and he flirts with me constantly. i miss him so much. i cant go home as i have nowhere to stay as my parents say iv to go to a shelter if i go back and i have just got a job down here and i just dont know what to do. i know the sensible thing is to give it a go down here but i cant get him out my mind.

any advise?

just to add him and my ex havent really been pals for a year. my ex started hanging around with other people and blanked his friend.

View related questions: best friend, broke up, flirt, msn, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009):

It worries me that he didn't kiss you until you were leaving and that he is only now starting to flirt with you now that you're away. Is he one of those guys who is afraid of relationships? Do you know his relationship history? If they haven't been friends for about a year, then why hasn't he made his move sooner if "not wanting to upset his friend" was his excuse. Why did he wait for when you weren't going to be around anymore? If it were me, I would be a little nervous and wary about this guy and I wouldn't think about moving back home for him. You have an opportunity at a new, exciting life. You have so many options available to you -- why would you pine for the guy who never actually gave you a chance?

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