A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated a guy for six months and then moved overseas for school. We had a very intense relationship, but it was very stressful on the two of us because we knew it couldn't last with the distance. While I was overseas we had short convos every week or so via text or email- both excited to see each other. A week before I came home for X-mas (I'm home for a month) he told me he doesn't want to continue things and thinks that if we slept together when I come home it would just complicate things. He says he wants to see me, but that he thinks we probably wont work in the long run- mostly because of distance. I'm hurt... we weren't really together while I was overseas- but I purposely bought a plane ticket to stay extra long because we talked about spending New Years together. I'm not sure if he doesn't want to continue things because he doesnt want to get attached or if he is truly over me. I asked him if he met someone else and he said definitely not. Is he over me? Or is he just saying all this because he doesn't want to get attached? I'm so upset as I've waited months and months to see him- we are supposed to meet up for drinks this weekend, but haven't heard from him in days.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Getting together over xmas isn't "keeping it open" it;s actively engaging in a relationship.
As long as the only reason you dont get together is distance and nothing bad happens then there's always a possibility in the future should then distance thing go away.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, he swears it's not another girl. It's so hard because I love him. I don't want to be together right now because of the distance, I just want to keep things open for a possibility down the road.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Another thought, sorry for this one, but it's possible he's met someone he's interested in and doesn't want to have you as a potential entanglement. He may not be serious with this hypothetical new person but likes the way it's going.
Being in a relationship with you isn't really viable as the distance is too difficult to overcome. Sorry that the timing is bad but sometimes you just have to let it go.
Good luck with school.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): "he doesn't want to get attached?" It's not a case of wanting to it's a case of not being able to.
He's realized in his time away that LDR's don't work. Seriously they don't, now you must have found it hard with him being away and not being able to hold him and stuff right? Kiss and cuddle etc. it's tough isn't it?
Well if you spend the next few weeks doing all that stuff and getting close then the long distance next time will be far far worse. Very painful and lonely.
He was most likely being completely truthful with you, when he said he just doesn't see it working and he really doesn't want to get any deeper with you because LDR's with someone you you are passionate about can be soul destroying, they're torture and just not worth only having a few weeks together then months apart. It's too much.
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