A
female
age
41-50,
*iffleigh5
writes:We were together for 4 months. The time we spent together was fun and very passionate. He would tell me he cared about me and was scared of being in a relationship because he still had things in his life to figure out. I fell for him. We took a week apart and he called me crying telling me all he wanted was to be with me. A week later he wanted to take things slow. I got so many mixed messages from him it made me confused. I was there whenever he needed me. We ended things not by my liking about a month ago. He said he needed to figure things out on his own and not be in a relationship and he needed to focus on his career and himself. I respect that. I just think he dropped me like a bad habit and I don't understand if we had such a great time together he can just let that go? Should I wait for him to figure things out or should I try and move on? If it means moving on than how do I do that?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, medha  +, writes (26 May 2010):
 Hi
Yeah. action speaks louder than words, and men being who they are... will jump through fire without any pants on, for the girl they truly loved. Rest all doesn't matter!
So, basically, move on. Move on= move on! To a better life, better time and higher standards!
Love
((((((((hugs)))))))))
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 May 2010):
 You know, I am afraid that soon I'll have to stop with this Dear Cupid thing. It makes me feel soooo old. I mean, I am no spring chicken, but some letters make me feel totally ancient. As if I have heard the same things over and over again.
All these years , and the lines are still the same day in day out, and every day new girls , perfectly intelligent smart clever girls, keep falling for them. They swallow them hook,sink and liner- how's that possible.
So-
"it's not you it's me "= it's really you
" I am not ready for a relationship "= I am not ready for a relationship with you"
"I care about you " = I don't love you, I just care about you same as I care about another 40 or 50 friends or mine"
" I need to focus on my career " = I am gonna use all my free time for hanging out with the boys, do my own thing and date multiple girls.
And ,finally , whatever they say : talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words.
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A
female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (25 May 2010):
 I am in the same situation except my guy broke up with me after 3 months because he was confused, not ready, cold feet, and "needed to find himself" - whatever that means. The truth is ALL of these common phrases used by men are just excuses! What he wants to say is that he doesn't want to be with you anymore (or with me in my case). He won't tell you the real reason.
I also thought that everything b/w us was great! We didn't even argue. However, that just a perception and your and my eyes. He was never attached!
I currently trying to give him space with no contact, but with every single day I realize that he has moved on looong time before I even realized things were over. Don't wait around for him - you will only waste precious time.
It really hurts, but you and I gotta try to move on!
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (25 May 2010):
 I think if you wait for this guy to figure things out on his own, you're going to be long retired and safely installed in a skilled nursing facility long before he does. Move along, honey, nothing to see here. This guy doesn't have his head and his ass wired together.
Do yourself the favor of avoiding guys like this: Yes, I do no wait a sec, I uh, don't. Well maybe I do....no good can come from this.
Moving on means what it says, move on. Don't look back, find a guy whose head is firmly attached at the neck.
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