A
female
age
36-40,
*yel
writes:so my ex and i have been talking and getting along pretty good recently, the thing is we are not together but at times he acts like if we are he tells me he loves me and stuff. i am the type of person that does not like to be played so i told him he had a week to tell me what he wanted to do, a week passed yesterday and he said that he wanted to get back together, so i told him that if he wanted to get back together that he has to be honest, loyal and stop flirting with all these women because that is just disrespectful, he said ok and then five minutes later changed his mind and said that he thins that we should just chill for a while, he he does not think that it will work.so i said ok and that i think that we should not talk anymore because with us talking that it will just hinder me from moving on, since i am going to be working son, getting me own place ( i share an apartment with roommates) and also that i am trying to get my finances right, so talking while not together will just keep me back. Then he said he wants to get back together, i was like you just said that you did not want to get back together and now you want to and i told him to make up his mind for good, he said that he does not want to lose me and that he still does not know why we cannot talk, and i repeated the reasons why and he said ok. when we went to sleep he wanted to cuddle and i said no, if we are not together that cannot happen!!! i am the type of person where you are not going to use me, having your cake and eating it to.why do you think he said that he does not want to lose me? and why does he still want us to talk if he does not want us to be together?
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female
reader, brklynsis81 +, writes (19 May 2010):
 I will put it short and sweet, using your own words. He is trying to have his cake and eat it too. He is coming to you because he is lonely, and you seem to be willing to fill in that loneliness at a moments notice. You deserve better than this! Remove this drama from your life! And quit putting the ball in his court! Take control of your own life!
I'm sorry for all of the explanation marks but I am serious when I say you deserve better than waiting around for an indecisive chump to "decide" he wants you. His true feelings are already abundantly clear. Time to move and on start focusing on your own needs and future.
Good luck on your new life! Take pride in the fact that you are doing it on your own for a while.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): if you guys have been together for a while maybe he is so used to having you around and having you in his life that he does not want to lose you. i know from experience that this guy i was with ... we ended things but he still wanted to be close friends. he said it was because we had been together for a while so he was so used to having me around to talk to all the time. he just wasnt used to never having ne one to talk to so he didnt want to stop talkin to me. " he didnt want to lose me" ... he pretty much didnt want to lose the person who is always there to talk to him n be there for him. which is understandable but in ur situation it isnt fair for you to have him want both. he gets one or the other. ... hope that made sense. or helped.
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