A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i like this boy and i would love a relationship with him but we were talking earlier tongight and we got onto the conversation of relationships and he told me he didnt want a relationship, just sex. im still a virgin but im 16. should i go for the sex andhope it develops into something more or keep trying for the relationship first, or just move on completely however hard that will be ):?
View related questions:
move on, still a virgin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, poetrygoddess  +, writes (5 December 2009):
I'm 18 and I have sex with my boyfriend BECAUSE I know he loves me and we didn't have sex for many months after we started dating! Relationship and not only relationship, but proof of commitment, comes first! Don't let yourself be fooled. He'll see u as a booty call and end up being in a relationship with some girl who's harder to get. He will respect you if you refuse!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): Get used to this, because it is pretty normal for guys to try to get sex from a girl without giving back a relationship.
If you can't get a relationship out of him without sex then you will never get a relationship from him with sex. Never.
Guys dont automatically get the same emotional link with a partner from sex that most girls do. We are just naturally built differently than women.
...............................
A
female
reader, cheesy18  +, writes (30 November 2009):
 I'm 18 and a virgin. You may think 16 is old i dont know but i have learned from experience what happens to girls when they loose their virginity to a guy. They go crazy and get obsessed. Sex is a huge step even though it may be nothing to him. we have a saying here "Why pay for milk when you can have the cow for free" basicaly saying why have a relationship with this girl when she's giving you sex without one. If you want a relationship with this guy you have to be holding all the cards he wants sex you wont give him he'll either disapear or stay if he stays thats when you know you hold the cards and can possibly lead him into a relationship but trust me if it goes there dont think after the first month its love and to give it to him then. Thats stupidity and he might just decide to dump you. You can however keep him interested though with oral.
...............................
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (30 November 2009):
 It's not going to turn into anything more. He's being honest with you (and although it's not what you want to hear, you should be thankful he's been upfront with you from the start). Don't sleep with him in the hope he'll want more...he won't.
If you want a real relationship, leave this boy alone...move on. Don't try for a relationship either...he may realize the only way to have sex with you is to promise you a relationship which he doesn't plan on having with you and then dupe you into having sex with him.
He's told you what he wants and it's not the same as what you want...so, move on.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): NO! he is being honest with you and thats great... but you need to not lie to yourself and more importantly give that part of your self away on a gamble. generally when a man says... i just want sex... he means it... not try to get something more... or read anything into it... a good movie to help you see this is... "hes just not that into you" ... i realize using a movie as an example is so clich'e but, it gives you examples of how women misread men.
waiting and hoping is no way to start out your life. you will find someone who wants the whole thing you just have to be patient..
...............................
A
female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (30 November 2009):
He's going to use you, I think your first time should be different than "just sex". Don't change your life for him, find someone else who will treat you better. I've had this done to me more than once, but I see it differently, I don't want a relationship either, but this guy is just wanting another notch in his bedpost. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at 16, I was in my late 20's before I had sex.
...............................
|
