A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all,I have a big problem. I'm too attached to my boyfriend. Let me start from the beginning. We met in high school, and everything was great. He always reassured me that we were gonna be together, that he was gonna take care of me, and always said I love you before we hung up on the phone.We live together now, it's been a year. Things are different. He doesn't appreciate me. I feel like furniture - I'm just there. I feel like he doesn't wanna spend time with me anymore and all he cares about is his friends. Every chance he gets he goes out with his friends and forgets about me. I talked to him about it, and I said that we should have quality time together as a couple, and go on a date once a week. He said "well, if we're both not busy, then sure." And I said, "shouldn't it be a priority, because of our relationship?" and he said, "what if we're doing other stuff that weekend? we'll see." Another thing that bothers me so much is that he never invites me to go out with his friends. NEVER. When I ask, he goes, "can I just go out with them myself?" He's so different now. I feel like he's trying to get away from me. And whenever I ask about his future, he always responds with answers that don't have me in it.He loves me, I know it. I love him so much. My whole world revolves around him. I have no family, and I have no friends. All I have is him. I don't know what to do. It's the worst feeling in the world when you realize the person you love the most doesn't love you the same. Please, I need all the advice I can get.
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (14 August 2007):
 Hello there,
The first thing I think you need to change here is the fact you have no friends, that being so you are reliant on your boyfriend for any social interaction, it seems he has a large network of frinds, and the fact that you are not included in his social life with them makes you feel left out and that's quite understandable. I wonder how your partner would feel if when he said he was off out with his mates, you said no probs me too! You have to have something else in life other than him. Everyone needs space and it's not healthy to live in your partner's pocket, but you also need to feel wanted and needed sometimes and not feel as though you are being taken for granted. Talk to him about this and tell him how unhappy it is making you.
Get yourself some friends, join a class, take up a sport, get out there and you'll soon have other things to occupy you other than sitting around waiting for your partner to spend his time with you. It may also make him see that if he continues to spend his time with others rather than you he may stand a chance of losing you.......
Good luck!
A
female
reader, NiX-bAbY +, writes (14 August 2007):
Hi,
I know what your going through as im going through the exact same with my (recently) ex bf. Trust me your whole world doesnt revolve around him you just think it does, you feel like this, as when you are together all the time it becomes a routine/habit. At the moment i would say your both in each others pocket and your b/f has realised this, thats why he is acting like he is. A relationship like that isnt healthy and you start to take each other for granted. Maybe the next time he suggests going out with his friends be really cool about it as when you start pressurising someone to do something it pushs them further away. If it doesnt get any better then maybe you should talk about calling it a day and see his reaction, it will often speak louder than words, and shock him into seeing he could lose you. If you both work through this then give him space to see his friends, but dont let him walk all over you. he should make time for you both, and if he doesnt you are better off without, as the longer you leave it the more hurt and rejected you'll feel!!
I really hope you work stuff out. Let me know how you get on..
Good look x
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