A
female
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*ernadette39
writes:i found out my BF has been texting and calling a girl for upto 6times a day, when i confront him he says it was a lie and when i show him the evidence he said she was a friend.i want to finish with him but he is begging for me to take him back but i am sure he is cheating on me as he just got a new mobile and he gave that girl his number and didnt tell me about the new phone, he is still secretly seeing this girl and telling me she is just a friend and saying he dont call her anymore but i have found out he is still calling her with the new phone, despite him telling me he love me and crying for me to forgive him.. this is not the first time i have been through this with him, we have been together 4yrs, and its been ongoing lies every now and then.. i dont trust him anymore.. should i stick to my decision?? HELP
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2006): he calls and texts you with romantic messages and wants to live with you because he is now all alone, he has no one else to turn to (maybe his side girls dumped him), he's homeless, he's confused, he's lost, he's guilty, he's desperate, he's angry that you found out, maybe he hates rejections and wants to prove that he's still in control and can get away with things.. now do you want a spineless man like him ? think about it...
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (23 October 2006):
 You'll just have to keep ignoring him until he finally gives up. Change your number, change the door locks too. If he does get truly threatening then contact the cops and they'll help you get a restraining order against him.
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A
female
reader, bernadette39 +, writes (23 October 2006):
bernadette39 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the reply Debs, i have figured this out that he got a Pay as You Go so he can call and text her without getting bills.I have told him to leave me alone since i discovered his lies, i do not call or text him... but why is he still calling me and texting me all the time and telling me he loves me and wants to move in with me and the kids when he is doing all these things???
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006): it's your call... this is all too familiar .. the guy i met said he's single but then i found out he has a girlfriend and he said ' yeah but i'm not married ' .. so he calls me and tells me how unhappy he is and plans to break up with his girlfriend of 6 years.. well he keeps calling and emailing everyday and we see each other 2x a week.. i fell for him because he promised he will leave his gf soon ... then i found out from his buddy that he has another cellphone and leaves it at work and calls/texts longdistance to another girl on his lunch break everyday ...finally i ignored his calls and i don't talk to him anymore. i feel sorry for his girlfriend but then maybe not. maybe she knows what her bf is like and is okay with it, who knows ...
but it's good that you found out about his calls to this girl so now really it's all up to you to decide.
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A
female
reader, bernadette39 +, writes (23 October 2006):
bernadette39 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the reply, i have decided to stick to my decisions,that is to break up, despite the fact that i love him alot, he doesnt seem to care that he is hurting me, thinking that i will take him back no matter what he does.. he is calling and begging me to reconsider and that he will change, i have heard this all before from him,he has done it over 4times now during the 4yrs we have been together.. he has begged for forgiveness and i have considered it and after a while he does it all over again...he gets abusive if i try to talk to him about why he keeps doing what he does, lying and pretending to be single and he thinks i am paranoid and making up stories, this girl told me herself that she has been seeing my BF and that she has his new number and i dont.. he admitted himself he got a new phone but he keeps calling me on his old number wanting to make up with me... when i dont reply to his calls and text he sends me angry and abussive.calling nme a b..tch and all kinds of abussive names. why does he behave in this manner, he has a new woman so why cant he leave me alone??? i have to be strong this time both for myself and the kids too.. my kids are from my previous relationship.
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A
female
reader, treetop +, writes (23 October 2006):
seems like this guy wants his cake and keep eating it. If he loves you like he says he does then why on earth is he still contacting this girl! you need him to prove that he is trsut worthy and if he is not prepared to do that then you have to think of yourself and your own happiness. It is very hard for someone to regain trust once it has been lost and he doesn't seem to be activly trying to acheive this. Talk is cheap. If he has done this before and you stayed, perhaps he thinks he can get away with it second time. looks like you have two choices, stick to your decision and find a bit of peice of mind or let him carry on lying to you. You have already given him a chance once. Ask yourself is this the kind of relationship you want to be in or do you deserve more?
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A
female
reader, DEBS83  +, writes (23 October 2006):
 you need to get rid of this man if he will go to those lenghts to buy a new mobile to talk to her he as no intension to stop seeing her
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