A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so my question is should i break up with him or stay with him and see if it will work out?So i was dating my current boyfriend for 3 months and it was going perfect. i couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend. then a week before our 4 months i found out he cheated on me and i was crushed. he made out with this girl he apparently had feelings for for quite sometime even before we started dating. he talked to her all the time but i never thought anything of it because i trusted him. but anyway he and the girl flirted all the time and talked about dating if him and i were ever to break up ]': (that part hurt a lot). So i broke it off with him for a week. He told me he lost feelings for the girl completely when i broke up with him (i'm not too sure i believe that) and he apologized constantly which seemed so sincere and it felt like he really did love me. So because i have a huge heart and couldn't stand it, i took him back.Now it has been 6 and a half months since it happened and i still feel hurt, angry, and betrayed. I sometimes think about it before i go to bed, or in the shower, or whenever and i end up crying. I forgave him and i try to make excuses for why he did it. The past month he has been treating me like gold and i can tell he is trying hard to be a better boyfriend. Because for a few months after he cheated he hadn't been the greatest boyfriend to me... But anyway, sometimes i just want to break it off with him because i feel like i just can't be with someone who cheated on me. Because how could you cheat on someone if you really loved them? That question goes through my mind constantly. i have never been as happy with him as i was before he cheated. I used to think that you know your in love when all you want is to make that person happy no matter what and give your all to them, and i don't feel that way any more, sometimes i do but then at other times i want to do the exact opposite like i want him to feel the same pain and betrayal that i felt. but i would never cheat, because that is against my morals. I really want the pain to go away and to move on and still be with him because i truly do love him. Breaking up with him is the last thing i would want to do :( because i actually got close to doing it and i couldn't because i knew how much i would miss him and still want to be with him. But i can't stay with him if i'm always going to feel like this. I'm so confused, and i would really appreciate some advice. What should i do? :(
View related questions:
broke up, cheated on me, crush, flirt, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice everyone, I'm still not sure what I'm going to do. I was actually leaning towards breaking up with him but after reading one of the answers I have a little hope that it will work out and now I'm confused again. I will think this through as much as I can and hopefully make the right desicion. /:
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Three months isn't a very long relationship, it's usually the nicest bit when you are so in love and the difficult parts haven't started. But he cheated already, in such a short space of time. What would happen further down the line if things got difficult? And they always do... Think about this, and if you decide to talk to him, point this out to him. And see what he says and does.
...............................
A
female
reader, MsClara  +, writes (5 December 2010):
I went through something similar. I moved away and my bf cheated on me and he broke up with me. I was devastated but I moved on. However he put himself back into my life and I got back together with him 6 months later after he said he was an idiot and he that cheating on me had made him realise how much he loved me.
It wasn't easy, and to be honest, I'd been having fun being single again and I met a couple of lovely men in the meantime, but I still loved him, so I said I'd give it a go. I realised though that I had to forgive him totally or it wouldn't work. Now we're living together and we're still in love.
My advice to you is to take a break from this man, and find out what you really want before deciding to get back together with him. It's a decision that you need to be sure of and he needs to understand that he hurt you and can't get away with this. You deserve more than to be treated like this.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Move on...he led you to believe you two were to be, but he was busy trying his hand with someone else - why start a relationship with someone when you're ultimately not interested in them?
Seems like he just used you - sorry to say!
...............................
A
female
reader, Level22  +, writes (4 December 2010):
 You have forgiven him and taken him back. THATS IT. You cannot let this bother you or use it against him, it was your choice to take him back so you have to forget it happened OR it will destroy your relationship. By taking him back he assumes all is good and probably has no idea how much the incident is still hurting.
...............................
|
