A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am a female of 24 and was till just a couple of days ago in a relationship with someone who has children from a previous relationship. he has ended things cos he ex keeps causing trouble and threating that he wont see his boys no more if he carries on seeing me. i have been him a year and only met his kids once cos the trouble is ex caused was unreal she was threating to kill her self if he doesnt go back and live with her. and she said if he did go back and live with he he could still see me !anyway he has called things off saying he is confused and his head is a mess, and that he cant give me what i want as he doesnt want kids again cause he is so scared. ad i just dont know what to do/say iam so upset as i love him so much and coundnt imagine life without him.i have tried to say to him that life moves on and doesnt stand still and that his ex cant really stop him seeing his kids. i know he loves me he even told me not long ago im the love of his life .but now we apart he keeps sending me txts saying what upsets him most if that he didbt alreadry have kids he would love them with me as im perfect, i just dont know whats for the best at the moment. i know we could be so happy together and i would love to meet his kids and spend time with them all together what should i do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2007): I am in a similar situation.My boyfriend just broke up with me do to problems that he is going through not only with his ex but also other things in his life. My ex's exwife harasses her kids everytime they come over to our house (or I should say what you to be our home)She interrogates them about my son, the things we do whatever information she could extract from her children about me and my child. This has taken a toll on my ex-boyfriend. What I say to you is that he is not ready for a relationship at this moment. He needs to figure out how to solve the problem he is having with his ex and his kids. If he stays in a relationship with you without being able to see his kids then he will resent you. Let him get his visitation situation figured out and just be there for him as a friend. And see if maybe later you guys can try again
A
female
reader, elsie +, writes (15 May 2007):
 yes i agree with the first answer unfortunate for you that you fell for this guy with baggage.i know ive been there and it hurts like hell.his ex has simply fallen apart and it must be so hard for her.i dont see that she is too blame for any of this.you feel like this now,imagine if you had kids to look after as well 24/7?there will never be a chance of you meeting the kids by the sound of things.his ex wasnt ready to let him go.if you can change your number and try and block him out of your life.its hard because he doesnt sound like a bad person but hell drag you down into his world of problems and you dont need it.good luck.
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A
female
reader, maryann61181  +, writes (12 May 2007):
 Okay, you have no idea what he may be saying to her. He may be telling her that he still loves her and leading her to believe that he thinks that they can eventually work things out. There are children involved. If you do not have them, there's no way you could possibly understand. He may be telling you things that are not necessarily the truth either. Don't point your finger at her, because there is her story as well. I understand that you love him, but you found a man with baggage and when you do this, there are always issues that come up. Try to move on and find a man who does not have an ex with children - there is always drama.
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