A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a little old fashioned and always had the idea that when a man is truly interested in you he pays for dinner. I've been on four dates with this guy and each time he ask to split the check. Is this guy really into me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): This is from the original poster: To clarify he has invited me out every single time, I've never once initiated a date?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): Aunts: She didn't say HE invited HER!
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (1 November 2009):
 It's possible he's interested but in my opinion he needs to learn some manners. He invited YOU out to spend your own money? Puhleeeease. I'd be insulted.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (31 October 2009):
 We the old-fashioned would pay the check, and wouldn't even think of asking the woman of paying her share. However, some women want to pay their share. I've heard things like:
- you're not sufficiently self-assured to let the woman pay
- there, that's the macho in you
- I am not a little girl and I can pay my share of expenses
- I don't want you to think I am abusive
- I don't want this to be a date. Take it easy.
- Are you sure you got money on that credit card?
- Let me do this for you, and you can pay next time.
- If I let you pay, what will you ask in exchange for it?
So, from now on I take the check, and if she wants to pay I say "Hey, I invited you", and if she insists I try again, and if she insists I let her have her way.
So, YES, the guy can be into you. Perhaps he's not cheap, but he's had his experiences.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): Hang on - most of these replies have ASSUMED that he asked you out to dinner, yet you made no such claim. So, assuming it was by mutual consent, what problem do YOU have with paying half?
Maybe you are old fashioned, just don't assume he is. In his place, I would have paid initially but on subsequent dates, I would expect you to at least offer to pay half. Even then, I probably may not accept but it would at least be nice for you to have offered, Miss Tight-wad!
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A
female
reader, MinnieM  +, writes (31 October 2009):
Perhaps this gives you some insight into the way he views a relationship.....as equals with everything, question is, is that what you want or do you want a relationship where you are treated as extra special?
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (31 October 2009):
 Maybe, I am kinda old fashioned that way myself and if you ask someone out, you pay for it. Even friends.
How do you know the other person can afford to pay halfs anyway? You might be putting a lot of pressure on them to pay for something they can't afford.
It all depends on the relationship between the two of you and the financial situation of the both of you.
Basically, my first thought would be "is he really cheap"?
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