A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of a year and I broke up over a month ago and at first we were still sleeping together until I told him it would end up hurting me and we needed to stop. He had been really mean and unappreciative of me during the relationship and he was so mean to me for the month after it ended. I ended up visiting an old boyfriend and things happened, we slept together, and it wasn't as special or anything and I immediately regretted it, but it was something I thought would make me happy.A week or so after this happened my ex started saying he wants me back, saying that he's sorry for how he treated me, saying that he loves me, etc. and it really hurts that he didn't say these things when i needed to hear them - during our relationship and after we broke up. Should I tell him about what happened? I'm leaning towards no. I would understand and forgive him if the situation were reversed, but that's one of the ways he and I differ.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone :)
A
female
reader, MinnieM  +, writes (31 October 2009):
Instead of wondering if you should tell him or not try asking yourself what kind of relationship you would like to have with anyone you are involved with? Is it one where you can feel free to discuss anything with a partner & feel that they will listen and talk things through with you? Or is it one where you want to feel that you have to be guarded & keep things to yourself?
No contest in my book!
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A
female
reader, quiet-echo  + ♥, writes (31 October 2009):
 No, I don't think you should tell him. You were single at the time which makes it none of his business. And if he's prone to criticsing you and handling things badly, all the more reason.
You haven't done anythng wrong here. When we break up with someone (or they break up with us) what we do is no longer their business.
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (31 October 2009):
 I think it is always best to be open and honest about these things, it is easier to say well what he doesnt know what harm him! but can you live with a lie?
That's what you need to ask yourself,a and it is not as if you were with him as a couple at the time you were on a break.
I know that you will feel but how does that look?
You be honest about that and say you thought it would make you feel better but it didn't.
If anything i think he will appreciate your honesty, and i can gaurantee if you do get back together the old question that always arises out of these situations of him asking you "Did you sleep with anyone whilst we were apart"?
Could you look him in the face and lie about that?
That's what you need to ask yourself.
Gina
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