A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i hope someone can help me. My boyfriend of about 9 months has just spit up with me. I know we argued a bit, and had been doing so quite alot recently but I really thought we were perfect for each other. We had so much in common and just had a really great time together, we spent like every spare minute we had together. Anyway, he split up with me after I said to him that I knew he wasnt happy. He eventually admitted he wasn't and said he just didnt feel the same anymore and that he didnt really fancy me. I am absolutely gutted, i cant stop crying and ive lost all my confidence. Ive tried to get out with friends etc but i just cant see myself moving on from this. He still wants to be friends and i dont think i can cope with it. I saw us having a life together and i really thought he did as well. He says he's happier now and to be honest i feel like my life is over. He was like my soulmate and i just dont know what to do.Please help me.
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male
reader, JustaGuy +, writes (17 July 2007):
Hey, I'm in the same situation with a girl, one day she turned round and said it was over - just like that.I know exactly how you feel, she really is the first and last thing i think of every day. Even the smell of her perfume if someone else is wearing it sets me off.I really feel for you because the pain is still raw for me. My ex too still wants to be friends but I dont know how to deal with it, like me you probably just want to go back to how it 'used to be'. He's says he's happier now which have hurt like hell when he said it, my ex said the same and it felt like my heart had been torn out. Like people say keep yourself busy, i am literally having to force myself to go out at the weekends. I find being alone is the worst, surround yourself with your friends thats what i'm doing. Even though I still think about her when I'm with them it does occasionaly take my mind of it for a bit.hang on in there, we can get through this, your not alone !
A
female
reader, shazzzx11189  +, writes (17 July 2007):
currently, i'm going through the same thing except that my ex-boyfriend and I had been dating seriously for 2 1/2 years. He told me i was too clingy, called too much, and argued too much. I was so hurt when we broke up. So after three weeks of having space he comes back and says "I really missed you while i've been gone and i dont feel right being with anyone else." What i'm trying to say is-- He probably needs space. And if you are truly in love with him you will wait for him to work things out. And when he comes crawling back try and act as if you weren't hurt at all and try to start a NEW relationship if that is at all possible. My boyfriend and I are doing great now and have been getting on great.
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A
female
reader, Emma_Australila_1983  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 Hi,
I can understand how you must be feeling. About a year and a half ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. Everything you explain here is exactly how I felt at that time. I know many people have probably told you this, but it just takes time. Trust me, it really works. You need to keep yourself busy, start a sport or hobbie. Keep yourself surrounded by positive happy people who care about you. Do a positive thinking course (this really helped me) and learn more things about yourself.
I made daily things a challenge for myself, I made it exciting. Like arriving at a party on my own, fixing things around my house all by myself. Doing things on my own that I had never done before. I now look back at this past year and a half and I have had the best time of my life. Being single is a very exciting carefree way of life and I hope you can see you deserve to be happy and will be one day, but until then you should spend your time on you. Nuturing yourself and rebuilding your self confidence. Msg me if you want to talk about things further x
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