A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok. so here is the deal. i've been with this kidd for one year nd he's always lieing to me, he is so jealous, he hit me before, mentally abuse me, hurt me verbelly and physically but i know that he's crazy about me. he's in love with me and he would do anything for me. there's no one in this world that would love me as much as him. i dont know what to do. Should i stay with him or should i break up with him. nd i forgot to mention i love him too...is he ever going to change? he's 23
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female
reader, tinkerbell29  +, writes (15 October 2007):
 hi hun,
I know you are hoping that someone will tell you that he will change, but he won't!!! if he is treating you badly now and you are putting up with it things will only get worse. You need to erase this bully from your life and love yourself. I have seen this too many times and the men concerned never changed.Please take everyone's advice and make a life for yourself without this man.If he loved you he would not hurt you no matter what! There are plenty of men in this world that will treat you the way you so deserve and you will find one of them if only you learn to love yourself first and stop wasting your time on a man that obviously doesn't even respect either you or himself. He may say he loves you and may also have convinced himself of that, however it seems like he loves to control you and loves the power he has over you.
I hope you make the right choice, whatever that may be.
take care of yourself xxx
A
female
reader, chrissies +, writes (10 October 2007):
 This man is not going to change, that's for sure. You're letting him carry on like this. Sorry if this sounds hard. It's not your fault, he is an abuser. But you haven't said you have tried to stop this in any way and talking to him is not going to work. You have to take serious action. I don't think you realize how serious his abuse is.I have to tell you straight, as I have been there. I think you are already being controlled and don't realize it. You say that he loves you and will do anything for you. Well, does he stop the abuse? He does not love you. He is controlling you because he has no control over what himself. He is controlling you. I think it is going to take you a long time to realize this and I know my reply will probably offend you at this time in your life, but I hope you realize what's happening before it's too late.Domesstic abuse of any kind is on the increase and only 7 out of 10 women that suffer this live to tell the tale. As yourself, why should he stop if no one has stopped him?When you're controlled by fear, it's hard to fefine the difference between what he calls love and that, that isn't.There are a lot of men out there who do not want to control you as they have their own self control. They will not make you lower than them in any way. They will put you on the same if not above the level they are on. That's what is called love and respect. All of which your partner does not have. Loev and respect go hand in hand.Get out and stay out. There is a real love out there with no pain, and youmight live to tell your tale.Lots of love care.Tray xxxxWake up to what is really happening please and stay away.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (30 September 2007):
If he hits you he does not love you - end of story. Get out of this one and leave this animal whilst you still can.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): Get out of it now there are other men in the world. Its too late for him to change
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): sorry to say, but he probably won't change if he is 23 and acting this way. There's something called the cycle of violence, you fight, he hurts you verbally or physically, you separate for a bit, he feels bad and does the whole "im so sorry. it will never happen again" bit, you want so bad to beleive him that you do and you all reconcile,....until the next fight and the cycle repeats itself. By staying with him, you are saying it's ok for him to hurt you and it's definitely not. The more you oblige this behavior, the more he'll think he can treat you badly with no consequences and the worse it'll get. Please get out while you can. ANY physical abuse is not ok. I was in the same kind of relationship for 3 years and I stayed in it 2 years too long. Iwas having the same concerns you were after one year and decided to stay. so please leave. I was given a black eye, choked on many occasions, pushed out of a moving car, among other violent acts. They just escalated. I was left with a horrible case of anxiety, trust issues, and a deep mistrust of men in general. It's almost immpossible for me to be in a relationship now since I am constantly worrying and depressed over nothing. again, please get out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): sorry to say, but he probably won't change if he is 23 and acting this way. There's something called the cycle of violence, you fight, he hurts you verbally or physically, you separate for a bit, he feels bad and does the whole "im so sorry. it will never happen again" bit, you want so bad to beleive him that you do and you all reconcile,....until the next fight and the cycle repeats itself. By staying with him, you are saying it's ok for him to hurt you and it's definitely not. The more you oblige this behavior, the more he'll think he can treat you badly with no consequences and the worse it'll get. Please get out while you can. ANY physical abuse is not ok. I was in the same kind of relationship for 3 years and I stay in it 2 years too long. Iwas having the same concerns you were after one year and decided to stay. so please leave. I was given a black eye, choked on many occasions, pushed out of a moving car, among other violent acts. They just escalated. I was left with a horrible case of anxiety, trust issues galore, and a deep mistrust of men in general. It's almost immpossible for me to be in a relationship now since I am constantly worrying and depressed over nothing. again, please get out.
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