A
male
age
51-59,
*ondrake
writes:I put forward a question here awile back and received excellent suggestions/opinions/advice. I thought I'd do it again. I'm a 55-year old male. For whatever reason, I've inherited the "youthful gene". No complaints about that. When people guess my age they're usually 10-20 years off..on the younger side. Very very active, tons of outside interests/inexhaustible energy. (No, I don't do drugs.) The problem? No woman/women my age wants to exert that kind of energy. They think: "I do too much; I need to slow down." The women that I DO notice 'hovering about' expressing interest are in their 20s. I usually like to apply the +7 rule. (1/2 your age plus 7). Problem is...no takers. None! Yes I've done the dating site angle..save your $$. I'm going through an extremely long 'dry spell' and, truth be told, I'm thinking of throwing out the +7 rule. "How long", you ask? About 6 years. (It's vital to the story. Sheesh!) It has been a battle of wills, to say the least. I refuse to drop the cycling, tennis, 5K and 10k races, running, swimming, etc. (That's the horse I rode in on)However, I KNOW what the reaction will be when I'm out with a young 20-something. Do I really have a choice? Legal, that is. Or is this what 'they' mean when they say, "God has a great sense of humor?!" It IS rather funny, in a pathetic kind of way. You guys are great!
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male
reader, vondrake +, writes (24 August 2010):
vondrake is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have a pool!?! I wish I lived in your neighborhood, as well, if you have a pool. Let me just state for the record, that I wouldn't have any guys over cleaning my pool..women-owned companies, only, for me. Thanks for the response/insight. I get your 'pervy' comment and the sentiments behind it. Point(s) well taken. I have noticed however, on the dating sites, that active women in my age group, rarely, if ever, seek out guys in my age range. It's usually in the 40-48y.o. range, with 50 being the max! And I can understand that as women, If you are willing to date someone older you want the guy/man to have a/some life. (I'm not a woman..so it's all conjecture on my part.) Let's fast forward...now you have guys like me..who young women don't date because it feels strange and older women don't want to date because they want to date relatively younger..being advised to hang in there and keep looking because of appearances. (Sort of reminds me of wandering nomads in the desert.)Given the time frame that I have hung in there, I find the suggestion/advice to be well-intentioned, but probably not very altruistic. It's a good thing we're in great condition. This could take a while. This is very enlightening. Thanks, again.
A
male
reader, vondrake +, writes (24 August 2010):
vondrake is verified as being by the original poster of the question
To the two respondents, thanks for weighing in on this. Duly noted & greatly appreciated. To the first: I've been "least expecting it" for about 6+ years, now. Something has to give. The irony of it seems to be the element of self-fulfilling prophecy/prophesy(?)
To the second: I have no reason to put forth overstated exaggerations that could so easily be dispelled. Very few guys in your age group are willing to do 2 hours of tennis practice in 100 degree heat. I have no reason to lie to myself. Yes, you are correct. Non activity in my age group is a trend.
Your skepticism is amusing. Your responses, however, are informative & enlightening.
I don't 'chase' your age group, however, I fail to see the point in attempting to ignore what is as clear as the nose on your face, if you're observant.
Sure, I'd love to date someone a little more age appropriate, but until that happens, if YOU don't see the harm in hooking up with someone that's on the same frequency, I don't see the harm in it, either. I just needed a second opinion, as they say.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Too bad you don't live in my neighborhood, I would love to meet up with a guy (in my age zone) with that much energy! And P.S. I'm not in my 20's or my 30's. I think you should keep looking, afterall a woman in her 20's who dates you is looking for what you can buy her and as soon as she lays eyes on the hot buck cleaning your pool, she'll be gone. Not only that, you do tend to look like a bit of a perve dating someone that young. Hang in there, and keep looking.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (23 August 2010):
Being a 22 year old female, I would feel strange going out with someone who is the exact same age as my father.
That said, my dad isn't as active as you (he would fall down exhausted from just thinking about it) and I have noticed that the non activity thing seems to be a trend among the people your age.
So with that in mind and trusting you not to lie to yourself about looking younger, I don't see the harm in hooking up with someone who is on the same wavelength considering your active life and interests. You could have a lot of fun and if you look as young as you suggest you do (though I am skeptic about that) the age difference won't be all that noticeable.
In the long run you will have to find someone closer to your age, but no need to stay stuck in a dry spell before that person comes along.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 August 2010):
I say keep going as you are, and just look out for that special woman. The right person is always hard to find, and they nearly always come along when you least expect it. If you don't want to bother with 20 year old, don't. Just keep going as you are. Someone will come along. Or you could just throw out the rule and have fun.
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