A
male
age
36-40,
*rickgomez
writes:Im madly in love with a women who's been married to this guy for 8 years and they have 3 kids in common. Im in a situation were I live with my mom and sis and they pretty much depend on me financial wise, she was actually my mom's friend and that's how I met her. We been having this affair for the past 6 months, and I can't stop thinking about her every single day, I get mad every time she doesn't pick up the phone, right now Im a very frustrated person she say's that she love's me and that she's going to end her relationship pretty soon, but she's just afraid that our thing is not going to work out, and she recently told me that she still has some feelings for this guy but she say's that she's in love with me. I don't know what to do, I told her that I was willing to move in with her and treat the children like my own kids, I told her that I would take care of them financially but at the same time that would mean leaving my mom and sis and I have a really guilty conscious. I have tried not answering her calls and even try to stop talking to her but its too hard, I don't know what to do? please help???? good or bad please post your messages. Thank you
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male
reader, erickgomez +, writes (25 September 2009):
erickgomez is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGuys just giving u an update, Its been 3 weeks since I change my number, I recently found out dat shes back with her hubby n it looks like they r very happy, dis really devastated me because I love dis women so much n I know dat I could have made her so happy n sooner or later shes going to suffer with dis guy. I dont know y she stays in dis relationship, dont know wat she sees in dis guy, he treats her like shit, hes a drug addict, i really dont know y she chose to stay with him. I had da best intentions with her, I wanted her to succeed n go to skool, I really did love her n Im heart broken. But anyway she chose to b with him not me n u can't force anyone to b with u. Everyone keeps telling me u will move ur young n u dont need all dat drama, but I feel like shit because I really thought we had something special n I just feel like she used me. But its fine Ill move on sooner or later but its just hard because she lives really close to me n I know sooner or later Im bound to run into her somewhere n if shes with her hubby its really going to hurt me. My mom keeps telling me dude u have to move on, shes happy with her hubby while ur at home crying, but its just so hard, I really saw myself going somewhere with her n wat happen to da love dat she had for me, but its cool live n learn. This was the worst experience dat I ever had in my life I dont think Ima be da same person after dis. Thanks for ur answers guys I really need support right now.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 Sorry, buddy.
You did the right thing in changing your phone number. Move on with your life. Eventually you will get over this, and find someone new.
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A
male
reader, erickgomez +, writes (14 September 2009):
erickgomez is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for ur answers, its been very helpful. Well just to give u an update her hubby found out that we were having this affair about 3 weeks ago and since then nothing was the same, she didnt tell me but I think she wanted to stay with him cause she stop calling as often as she used to and her attitude towards me just change in general, last time we talk she told me that she needed time to think about what she wanted to do and that she was very confused. I was devastated for a minute, I kept begging her to move in with me, but i guess you can force someone to do anything, I got to tell you guys its been hard I'm heart broken, every time I think about it I feel like she never loved me and she just played me, so anyway I change my phone number and I haven't heard from her in 2 weeks, I keep thinking about looking for her but then I think about it and if she wanted to see me then she would look for me, but anyway I guess Im moving on you guys. This is the worst possible situation a person can ever be on, its gonna change my life forever.
Anyway thanks for the comments.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): Eric I can understand what you are going through fully ive been seeing a married woman now for 1 yr and she has 2 kids I have 1. We are closer in age I am 30 shes 32.. we met when we worked together but now we have different jobs.. We have our ups and down cause I truly belive that we do love each other very much but the reality of the situation is its very emotionally draining for both of us.. we have tried not talking to each other but that usally doesn't happen for to long... I feel that the best thing to do is to let her make that choice her self its hard cause we do have lots of dreams.. but at the end of the day there just dreams... she has been married 10yrs to her husband but unhappy for the last four years... or so she says... and her moods go up and down all the time... she verbal abused by this man alot... But she choose to stay there... there alot at stake for her and she would rather put herself last and the other 3 first and make them happy.. its very hard but ive been giving her space to see if after a yr if she will make a change... and for me "if the things around you dont change, change the things your around" ive tired to meet other woman but its hard i do think about her alot....i belive that the best choice for us both is to let them go and if the come back seperated from there husbands then a realinship can happen... cause in my case i dont see her very often and but talk all the time and iam kinda of sick of it.. until she makes that choice to commit the best thing for me to do is move on with my life... you should try the same
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): I feel sorry for you. But look at the bright side. At least the woman loves you. I was in love with a married woman who did not love me back and did not cooperate at all. So at least you got that problem out of the way.Other than that, I don't understand why you need to move in with the woman. Have fun. Keep dating her every once in a while. Don't push yourself on her too much, otherwise you will loose her love - having some space is good. Let her enjoy both you and her husband. Start dating other women as well - this way you will enjoy both her and other women. It will make you both feel better.Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (24 August 2009):
Erick Gómez, leave the woman alone and move on. I know this seems so bad for you, but I honestly believe this is the best advice you can receive.
I am sure you have not thought so, but your getting involved with a married woman is wrong in several ways.
First, you're doing the husband a damage that he does not deserve. He has not done anything mean to you, but you have. I am sure you understand that the man would not exactly find you a good person, or like you at all. If you were in his place, you would do the same.
Second, as in any other relationship, if the person has doubts, then it's best not to push. If she isn't sure things would work with you, then let her be. She and her kids would be the losers here, and they would lose a lot. You would simply go away and find someone else. They would lose family life as they know it.
I have met some young men who are quite responsible and hard-working, and very much love the woman. But I would also wonder if you're ready to be a father of three being less than 25 years old. Have you thought about how they would see you, being the man mommy left daddy for?
If you don't have the means to support your mother, your sister, your loved one and her three kids, and you, then it's not wise to ask the woman to leave her home.
In any of these cases, the unmarried person stands to lose a lot. For example, if she left the husband and your relationship didn't work out, she would blame you, not herself. You don't want this.
Tell your woman that, since she is unsure, you will be away for some time to let her think. I suspect she won't want to go to you.
Wish you the best. You're not a bad guy, but one who has made a serious mistake.
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