A
female
age
36-40,
*orizon_Blue
writes:i have been in a long distance relationship now for over 10 months.. hes amazing buys me gifts, flowers at my work, always tells me he loves me but i just get really paranoid when hes away.. he always says to me just do one thing never cheat on me, and i have said that to him too. but because of my past relationships it is always in the back of my mind.. when he doesn't wanna talk at night because he is tired.. silly things just relating to the past.. i have no reason what so ever for me to think he is cheating on me.. but why am i still so scared of disloyalty? Also because i have gained weight over the years and because the way i have been treated by other men i have lost all my self confidence.. when we get down to it i always have to make up some excuse to turn the lights off .. I just dont want him to see me and run a mile.. we did make love once when i was fully naked. and he told me how beautiful and how nice i felt.. yet i still feel like i shouldnt be naked or for him to see me in the light. I dont know what i am looking for really.. Just something to boost my confidence and to say long distance relationships arn't that hard..I have spoken to him about the way i feel.. he is fine about it and knows im very insecure he says ill wait theres no rush.. but in the back of my mind i feel he will leave me if i dont come out of my shell.
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