Have I got trust issues? I don't want him back, and don't want to be friends, I just want back my money. Is it me with the problem here?

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

How do you get someone to see that you're not trying to twist things and make it look like 'its them' with the problem? Brief history, split with someone after nearly 2 yrs who lied in the early days. We had split after a yr, i found out he lied, yet after a few months still let him manipulate his way back. Lent him a few grand, we split for good in jan. He wanted to sort it yet again, I made the choice not to for good. Me and my kids are happier on our own right now. It was a rollercoaster 'relationship'(I use that term loosly) and Ive never had such a disfunctional one in my life. Always manage to stay mates with exes, but I seriously dont like this guy, I'm clawing the money back in dribs and drabs and dont want any contact with him, apart from when he brings money. I blocked txt from his number, so he could only ring land line when he had some cash for me because we always ended up bitching in txt about the money. I thought that was sensible. And listened to my rents advising me he's using it as a control thing. Yet he always pushes it so that we are being civil and txting each other again, him asking about my day and where I'm going out weekends! And the circle continues. I hate all that, and dont consider him a friend. And admittedly I stomach it all, and keep it civil, so i get my money back! We got a bit narked again in txt saturday about the money, last night he sends txt which is obviously meant for someone else saying thanks for last night and being a tru friend and helping me see things normally will let you know about saturday. I made a joke of it and let him know he sent it to wrong person, said i was genuinely pleased he's got a good friend thats helped him see things clearer, then i get the txt saying he must of sent it to both of us, but she's a good friend, and also she's a counsellor and made him see its me twisting things and trying to make him feel he's in the wrong. It shouldn't bother me, but it does. I'm not interested in the guy, only getting whats mine, back. But I am bothered if I really am a loon. I'm now wondering if it is me. He doesn't understand that because he lied before, and we are now split, that I simply dont trust him where the monies concerned. Its him thats dragging it all out, its not like he's not earning good money. He keeps saying he has good mates that know he's trustworthy and too nice. Although all his mates are drinking buddies that binge drink every night. I call those aquaintances, not true friends.

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