A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and I have been together for a couple years. We used to have sex once or twice a day, but over the last month, he's wanted to have sex a couple times a week, tops. He's not nearly as affectionate with me either. Otherwise, our relationship is good. When I ask him about wanting to have sex more often, he gives me various excuses like... he's tired, his mind is on work, I have too high of sex drive and a couple times a week is enough, etc. I've tried surprising him in hot lingerie when he gets home, attempt to sext him and take sexy pics and send it to him while at work, offer him blow jobs at lunchtime (we have lunch at home together)...all kinds of ways to try to get him in the mood, and it's not working. I stay fit and keep my looks up, so I know that's not a variable. I have noticed that he looks at porn more, particular women with larger tits than me. It doesn't bother me that he looks at porn, but I'm beginning to wonder if he's just not attracted to me anymore and doesn't want to tell me. I just...I really want that spark back...I haven't lost it but I think he has. What else can I do to remedy this? Any advise?
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female
reader, HappyPlace  +, writes (11 October 2012):
 "I have noticed he looks at porn more" - there is your answer. Get him to stop and he might be more inclined to have sex with a real life woman. His porn use is taking him away from you.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 October 2012):
 You are having sex a couple of times a week... that's pretty good... I personally don't think that a couple needs to have sex every day to be a good relationship...
over time, you get comfy, work and running the home takes precedence...
I'm sure he's attracted to you.. but the truth is he knows that he can have sex any time he wants with you so it's not going to be a huge high priority for him.
if you are still having sex a couple of times a week, I'd personally stop offering lunch time blow jobs...
DO NOT define his attraction to you by how often you have sex....
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