A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've known this guy since middle school. I'm sixteen and so is he. We've had sex eight times without protection, which I now realize was very stupid. I've been stupid and so has he. A couple of days ago I had a pregnancy scare. Luckily, I ended up getting my period. When I told him, he was upset. He said if I was pregnant he'd want me to get an abortion. I would never do something like that though. I wouldn't want to punish a baby for our stupid and thoughtless actions. When I told him that I started my period, he was happy, he was like, oh I love you and all of that. He also said if I was pregnant, he would try to have sex with me all of the time because I'd be pregnant anyway so it wouldn't matter. I love this guy, but I don't want to go through something like that again. At least not until I'm much much older and ready for a baby. I don't want to have sex with him anymore. Has he just been using me for sex all of this time?
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abortion, be pregnant, I love you, period Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): In a way, you can't expect more from him because he's just a typical horny teenage boy and he will not understand what you went through. I would say he is using you for sex. I agree though just because he wants you to have an abortion doesn't totally justify it....but the way he talked about sex when he told him you were on your period was just disgusting.
Hey learn your lesson and apply it!
A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Pregnancy is nothing compared to STDs you can catch, HIV, herpes, and the list goes on. If you have unprotected sex you increase your chances of catching them. Some of these STDs can haunt you for the rest of your life.
It doesn't matter whether he is using you or not. What matter is that you're having sex and unprotected at the tender young age of 16. It's not worth it, please stop.
You're way too young.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): I don't know.. i mean i see a lot of people in meaingful relationships where the guy would like an aborption because he's not ready for a baby. It doens't mean he's using her.
And it's actually a good point.. my husband said the same thing and so did i when i got pregnant. That we could have sex all we want since i'm pregnant anyway and didn't have to use a condom.
If you told him you didn't want to have sex anymore, what would he say? That's how you knows if that's all he's interested in.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Based on your description of his attitude, and in my opinion, you are primarily being used for sex. Hopefully, he also has amorous feelings for you and spends all his available time with you. If not, then you may be wise to reevaluate the relationship entirely. In any case, you certainly should be much more careful in relationships and, preferably, abstain altogether for awhile.
Please understand that I was also too adventurous when your age, and was lucky until age 17 when a pregnancy occurred and it changed my life for the worse. The girl and I married (for awhile) to make it a legitimate birth and all, but it altered my future and still affects my life at the age of 61.
In retrospect, I can only advise a more prudent course for you. Your boyfriend's preference for abortion is a bad sign, in my opinion. For your own good, and for your future, please consider the possible repercussions of youthful sexual activity and with whom.
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 You could explain to him how you're feeling..like you're only around because you two have sex together. You love him, right? Well if he loves you he'd go from being your friends with benefits to a couple. ( I'm assuming that's what you want? ) You don't have to give up sex all together, if you don't want to but if you do then that's your decision and I hope you stick with it.
If you continue to have sex you should use at least two forms of reliable birth control (the pill + condoms)
A pregnancy scare is rough enough, you don't need an STD scare.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): With the limited information we have, I would say, no...he is not just using you for sex. Men, or boys, do not say I love you for no reason. He obviously has feelings for you and his statement about having sex all the time if you were pregnant means that he had every intention of sticking by you even if you decided to keep the baby.You love him, he loves you, but you are too young to have a baby....that's not to say you aren't capable, it is just such a life-altering event that it is best to wait until you are able to provide for a baby ... enjoy being young!!!Now, go to the doctor and get on birth-control... there are plenty of options now but someone needs to take the time to explain them to you. Be happy, enjoy life, without a baby ... for now. Be nice to your boyfriend, he sounds like a good guy with a level head. There is no reason to be mad at him because he is smart enough to realize he is too young to have a baby.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Stop having sex with him and see how long he stays. That's my solution with everything every time someone is feeling used for something. If he was using you for money, I would've told you to stop giving him money and see how long he stayed.If he tempts you, get into a public place or try to never be alone with him.
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