A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My partner of 16 months asked for space mid January as he was unsure what he wanted with pressure of work, finances etc. He said that he felt the same about me but just needed to sort his life out. He did not know how long he needed to do this. I was not very good at giving him space and sent him texts and called him as I just did not feel comfortable with the situation. He said that he did not intend to see anyone else as why would he put me on hold as I was lovely and then see someone else. I suprised him last week and went to his house. He was not very happy to see me and announced that he had to leave to do some work as he is a plumber. I saw a valentine card that I did not send and on his desk was a bank statement with an interflora order for 11 Feb. I asked him about it and he said he did not know who the card was from and the flowers were for a birthday present. I have since sent a text stating that I have made the choice for closure now as I feel I am worth more than this. Had he moved on anyway? If so, why didn't he have enough respect to tell me the truth? Have I done the right thing? At this moment in time I feel so gutted!!
View related questions:
flowers, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (10 March 2008):
 When someone asks for space, we need to give it to them with trust that they have good intentions. Typically when a relationship is mature and space is needed, it's a sign of doubt in the relationship for whatever reason.
The man is lying about not knowing who the card was from unless he has umpteen roomates, which doesn't sound like it. The flower order is just too much of a coincidence and the only people you send flowers to for birthdays are girlfriends and mothers. I think this man was trying someone else on for size and leaving you hanging until he had his answer.
Did you do the right thing texting, calling and going to his house, probably not but you were left hanging in the wind with no answers and that is not fair. Did you do the right thing dumping him, yes.
Why did this man not have enough respect for you to not be honest? In life we all have to say hard things. Telling someone you don't want to be with them anymore, the hardest. Sometimes we just don't want to hurt people and sometimes it's more about us not wanting to do the tough thing. In a case where you've been together for 16 months, he is simply just a selfish coward and aren't you glad you are no longer with him? I'm sorry that you are going through this, no fun, but things will get better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): The guy sounds like he was a wimp and was too scared to tell you the truth. It's way easier to say that you need to "take a break to sort your life out" than it is to say "I never want to see you again." You're better off without him anyway!
...............................
A
female
reader, xXForgottenTearsXx +, writes (10 March 2008):
I'm thinking that maybe he had moved on, but wanted to keep you as an alternate or a "last resort".
...............................
|
