A
female
age
36-40,
*inmagpie
writes:I'm a 27 year old girl and I've been single now for almost 18 months. I know. To some, it might not seem like a long time but I'm starting to get lonely and, being the age I am, I'd like to settle down soon with someone.There's just one problem. Whenever I like someone, they end up ditching me pretty damn quickly.I've been on a few dates with guys and to be honest, some have liked me but I just really didn't click with them. But when I do like someone...they run for the hills!I've started to think I must be doing something wrong and just haven't noticed it yet but I don't know what it is! I want to be in a relationship and I'm sure I can offer them companionship, support and love. But they don't give me the chance.I have had long-term boyfriends in the past.Personality wise I am outgoing, funny (hopefully), a bit of a chatterbox, knowledgeable and occasionally a little sarcastic and cynical. I like the normal things for a Scottish girl my age (drinking, going to gigs,cinema, cool places) and I also volunteer for a charity every week.Physically I am of average looks (in the sense that some people have said I'm "beautiful" most say "pretty" and on bad days a drunk will call me a "dog"I am quite small, slim and have a couple of tattoos which is a bit more normal in Scotland especially in the alternative community. I don't jump into bed after the first date or even after the fourth.I tend to text people I like maybe 2 times a week but wait until they get back to me. I probably do act pretty keen to meet up but only because I like them.I'm not mental and don't talk about babies or marriage or starsigns or even that we might be an item.As I say, I'm quite a chatter box and I will tell people I like them if I do. I'd appreciate advice into what I might be doing wrong. Be honest please. thanks!
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female
reader, ginmagpie +, writes (22 July 2013):
ginmagpie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for the responses from everyone I really appreciate it. I will endeavour to live a fuller life and not wait for someone. I'm actually doing open mic in a few weeks so that will be fun :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2013): It doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with you! I was previously single for a long time and I know how it feels to feel like something's lacking, no matter how fulfilling your life is otherwise, but the bottom line is, for some it's easy and for some it's not. For EVERYTHING in life, not just dating, so don't think something's wrong with you, it's just some people have more luck than others, keep on trying and you will find someone, I promise. Keeping a fulfilling social life (in my country, the most common form of dating is friends setting their friends up with someone, the 'blind date' is seen as a bit desperate is the UK i know but why don't you try and set up something within your group of friends??), also online dating is getting WAY better these days.If you are worried that you're making them 'run for the hills', perhaps keep your behaviour in check? I don't know your personal situation but occasionally people can act crazy out of line in a relationship, using the line 'if you really love me, you'll accept....' where really their behaviour is completely unacceptable to anyone. But you've given no indication of this at all in your post so this is really just an afterthought in response to the whole 'running for the hills' thing, Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2013): When the time is right, it will happen.Even though you say you don't mention marriage and kids to them, I'm sure at the back of your mind you think "27" and the clock ticking to 30 is stressing you amongst feeling lonely, etc.You have to put your age and any desperation about feeling "what is wrong with me" out of your mind completely. You have to build yourself up, your self esteem, and KNOW you are worthy to love and be loved in return, whether there is someone in your life or not. Having someone will not define if you are a success in society. Or make you fully happy.You need to chase LIFE - with full gusto. Forget about attending things in the hopes of meeting someone. It is too forced or contrived and just dashes your hopes and dreams.Instead, DO DO DO. Use this time of being single, to discover yourself: who are you, what do you enjoy about life, what is a challenge. What do you want to do with the rest of your life? Make sure you have balance in all aspects of your life. Your spiritual life and whether you believe or don't believe. Whichever option it is, read and research more about it, as to why you are a believer, or why you are not. Do the same about your family, friends, work, hobbies, sport, arts, crafts, everything.Do not wait for a guy to travel, if its something you enjoy. Do not wait for a guy, to buy yourself a nice ring, if it's something you want.Do not wait for a guy, to be happy. Find out what makes you happy even without a guy, and do those things. Not with the hope you meet someone while doing it. No, you do it because it gives you pleasure and IF, a BIG IF, someone COMES ALONG WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT, that will be a bonus, not a pre-requisite to you having a full and happy life.That is the secret to being a happy single, and often when you transmit those thoughts, feelings and project it to all around you, you will be confident, strong, happy and radiate balance and if you're meant to have someone, it will happen.It did to me - I'm giving you my own advice. Do not settle for second best, or just anyone for the sake of saying you have someone. Even if 30 creeps or dashes by, don't worry, LIVE YOUR LIFE. If and when it happens, the wait will be so worth it. Hold out for your dreams, they will come true. They did for me and I wish the same for you. Be patient and LIVE LIFE FULLY.Wishing you happiness and your special someone!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2013): Hello!Honestly there's nothing wrong with you.Your just not meeting the right person.The right person is the one meant for you, when you meet him, you don't have to ask here for advise.Everything seems so right.No wonder moments.The right person will love you just the way you are.outgoing, funny, a bit of a chatterbox, knowledgeable and occasionally a little sarcastic and cynical.Nobody's perfect, we all have our own dark side.As long as you know how to respect and accept the other parties individuality then you don't have to change at all.You are perfect, and 27 is still young. You have plenty of days to meet Mr. Right. Never settle for less. Lastly,Always carry a mouth wash.Guys can't help it when they smell fresh breath of a woman.
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