A
female
age
36-40,
*onica_Swan
writes:I'm getting married in July. However, last year I started falling for one of my fiancés friends, he has loads of friends but me and this one became really close, chatting everyday, having the odd lunch or whatever during the day, until we had a big night out and one of my immature friends thought it would be funny to say that I'd love to sleep with him, which he went out of his way to confront me about when we were on our own the following night. We chatted and I realised things were getting a bit too serious, so we had a quick cuddle and dropped the subject. I made dinner for everyone the following day but because of our semi- conversation my heart was leaping out of my chest everytime he even looked at me. Things didn't change we carried on the same, just a little bit more honest, yet neither of us admitted to any feelings but I felt the need to leave my relationship with my boyfriend but as soon as I tried it was obvious it would never happen my fiancé got really upset, I explained literally everything to him and he took the blame for it all saying he had been neglecting me and his mate was giving me the attention I deserved that he wasn't giving me, so we stayed together. His mate must have found out to some extent what had occurred and stopped texting as often, I went on holiday with my fiancé back at the beginning of august and haven't seen him since. I miss him all the time, there's not a moment where I don't think of him, I still get the odd text every now and then but nothing substantial especially now that we've started planning our wedding. Even my boyfriend doesnt hear from him as much and thinks there's something wrong, especially as he knew what good mates we were and now there's nothing. Is there anyway to fix our friendship or would things have gone to far and he realised this and backed off? I don't think he's with anyone else and his dad told me he's under alot of stress at work at the moment, is it stupid to think his behaviour is because of me?
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female
reader, raiders  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 you should leave it at that you made your choice and you are getting married. Don't think on what could have happened or what could have been because the fact is your getting married and that is your reality.
A
male
reader, turkishsabre  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 dear..you re a kind of fox..i really want to know why most of the girls do the same..have a bf then while it is ongoing find another one..if you re not thinking about your fierce why you keep him in a dishonest way? i think most of the girls here asking the same questions..and i want to tell what is the way.. try not to be a fox..if you dont trust yourself do not make others to trust in you..and i hate the people who knows that a girl or boy have bf or gf and try to hack into relationship..this is very disgusting and sly personality because they often seem a close friend or best friend etc..this is very disturbing by the way because of those sly people i lost my trust to most of the people especially to the close or best friends..this
is a primat behaviour with no moral rules..
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 look you played them for attention and made your choice, now the hurt that leading people on has caused a rift in the friendships. this is to be expected. dont take it to heart just move on as he has done.
friendships can have sell by dates and sometimes you can pick up where you left off years later. give it time...
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 October 2010):
 I think his behavior is partly due to what happened between you two, and partly not. I think he really liked you. More than he would admit. Because you chose to stay with your BF and begin planning a wedding he cut contact in order to move on. It sucks wanting someone you can't have. Constant contact with that person just prolongs the agony.
As far as fixing the friendship, it may or may not be possible. For now, you need to give him his space. He will come back when he's ready. There's no saying when that will be. It would not be out of line for you to let him know you miss him and hope he's doing well, but you shouldn't hound him for replies or continued contact. That will just make things harder for both of you.
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