A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a horrible horrible person. I got drunk one night and kissed my best friends ex boyfriend. Nothing else really happened but even though she broke it off with him she is still really cut up about it. They went out for 5 years. He wants to keep it quite but I think I should tell her even though she'll hate me and it'll hurt her. If I tell her, I'm going to lose him as a friend as well and I'm scared I'm going to lose all my friends because I dogged on my mate. What should I do?
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female
reader, Saz464  +, writes (24 March 2007):
 I think you should go for it. He sounds like an okay person and I think you've found someone who makes you feel good. Your friend and him are over. She needs to accept that. However, are you sure there won't be another guy who can come along and make you feel 'alive' again?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, well here's an update and its going to make me sound like an even worse person but honestly I'm not and never had done anything like this before.
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Well, I've been with him again and I think I really have genuine feelings for him. We've been friends for about 4 years and I've actually known him longer than my best friend. I've been really hurt by a bad tormented relationship which I ended just over a year ago and have been numb to any kind of feeling to anyone since then. But he makes me feel alive again, like something inside me has woken up and allowed me to feel happy again. I know I'm going to hurt my best friend and its going to kill her to know, but I don't feel like I can stop this from happening with this guy. Should I just hide myself away from him so nothing like this can happen again and let myself be what is has been this past year?
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A
female
reader, Nay9201  +, writes (16 March 2007):
I think that you should tell her because that's your friend would you want her to keep something like that hidden from you? Think about if she is your friend and you guys are really close she should be able to forgive and forget. Hey most of us got drunk and were not thinking until afterwards, just tell her and apologize she will be mad at first but she is going to get over it if she is your real friend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2007): Tell your friend. I would! Tell her it was very a drunken mistake and it meant nothing. Apologise and take what you have coming.
I've been there were one of my friends kissed my ex boyfriend and even though we had broken up it still hurt. Friends Ex.’s and boyfriends are off limits.
Do the right thing.
Take Care x
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A
female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (16 March 2007):
 I think you should tell your friend,how would she feel if she found out from someone else? plus things can be added to so you know if you tell her,she is getting the right story. Tell her you was sooooooo drunk and ever since then you have been feeling like crap because you value her friendship much more than kissing some bloke.
You will have told her off your own back and if I were here I would thank you for being truefull.
Everyone does something daft in there lifes so dont be too hard on yourself sweety.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Saz464 +, writes (16 March 2007):
Calm down, You are not a horrible person however..
there is no way on earth you can tell her. Not only will you absolutely destroy her but you'll get him in trouble and leave him feeling bad for ages as well. It was a mistake, as you implied so why cause unessecary upset?
If you feel bad about it then make sure it never happens again. Personally, I don't believe in the best-friend rule about dating each other's exs or PBs (potential boyfriends but if you and your friend do then obviously you've done wrong. We all make mistakes though and you cannot blame yourself. It takes two to tango after all.
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A
female
reader, angel of love  +, writes (16 March 2007):
 honestly i think that you should tell her... she deserves to know the truth about what happened...she may be hurt but if you dont tell her it may come out in another way and it will hurt her even more if it doesnt come from you...
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