A
male
age
41-50,
*ockAndHardPlace
writes:I have been in a relationship with a great girl for 1.5 years. We get along great and are in love. We work at the same place but not together. She is getting transferred to another department. Two of her exes work in that department. Both are d-bags and she has expressed remorse about hooking up with them. But now she will literally be working side by side with both of them. This sounds like a recipe for disaster. I'm not insecure about her cheating on me but her two exes have no clue who I am. We work at a very large facility. Should I just let this play out or cut my losses. I just have a very bad feeling about where our relationship is going. Mostly cuz she only just now admitted to hooking up with one of them, but not while we were together. Neither of her exes are very professional so I doubt they will be that way around her. She has had second thoughts about the promotion because of what it may do to us but I haven't and won't ask her to put a hold on her career.
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male
reader, RockAndHardPlace +, writes (22 May 2012):
RockAndHardPlace is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx for the feedback. Yes they are her exes and she doesn't want either anymore. The only thing holding me back is the fact she lied to me for awhile about being with both of them even though it was b4 we were together. She regrets she lied and I do trust that she wants anything to do with them romantically, but the fact she tried to hide it makes me uneasy. Should I even ask her to not consider the transfer? I would guilty telling her that even though she keeps asking what I think.
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (22 May 2012):
 The fact that she regrets ever hooking up with them should give you alot of reassurance. It would be worse if she still had feelings for them; tried to get either of them back, then it would be a recipe for disaster. As it stands now you do not have to make this choice for her, but you could simply tell her you are uncomfortable with it. She may be hoping you will share your feelings because she's already having second thoughts as well. If she takes the job, I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet. If she regrets being with them, you can bet she won't forget why she broke up with either of them in the first place. And since they don't know you, why not show up and introduce yourself when she starts the job. For a "promotional present" you could find a nice picture of the two of you and get it framed for her desk (provided that she doesn't already have some photos of the two of you). Then periodically just show up at her office unannounced to take her to lunch. I think in time you'll relax about this situation and who knows, she may turn the job down.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 May 2012):
 you get along
you are in love
these are her exes and she was with them before you.
why should this spell the end of your relationship?
and why does it matter who you are to them?
if you trust her what's the problem?
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