A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, ill try to make this as short as posible. Me and my girlfriend (my first) have been dating for 9 months, we were friends for a few months before we started dating. We love each other to pieces, best thing in my life, and same with her. Welllllll the problem is that I got some issues. She prefers guys as friends opposed to girls. She never hangs out with the guys only talks to them on facebook or texts them sometimes. Its not like there talking all the time or anything, just a moderate amount. Today she was with me and I saw a text from a guy she met at the beach and it just said "hey", she knows I saw it and stuff, she didn't answer. I felt like I got hit in the chest, I felt betrayed and like I got the wind knocked out of me. And she left a few hours later and this feeling stayed, my stomach soon felt like it was tied in a knot on top of the other stuff. Yep and all of this from a stupid text!I know she would never ever ever cheat on me, so why do I feel like this! I'm feeling physical pain from this, my chest actualy hurts (its from this, not some medical issue). This has happend before bad but not quite this bad. I've told her all of this, everything I'm telling u, and she's said shell stop texting them but I'm not going to let her give up her friends for me. If I break up with her ill be hurting a million times worse, I don't even like the thought of her not in my life. So I'm not going to break up with her. what's wrong with me
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): i my self am a really jealous bf... if youve told her how you feel you should not have too stop her from having friends she should stop talking to them...if she loves you.
A
female
reader, golddigger99 +, writes (6 February 2011):
 It's completely normal for a girl to have nothing but guy friends. At least, it's normal for me. Almost all the females I know how only guy friends. My sister and I both had only guy friends growing up, only because from our experiences, girls can be snotty and rude. That's not to say that we didn't speak to girls, we just didn't hang out on the weekends together or anything like that. Girls gossip a lot from my experience, so I wasn't really into that kind of stuff. Anyways, I agree, you're jealous and have trust issues. Don't be. Try considering a full disclosure relationship, where you get to see her texting conversations with her friends, and she can do the same with you. I think this will help you get over your trust and jealousy issues and eventually, you won't feel the need to check up on her. Hope this helps!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): Dear,
I don't know some people give it the name of jealousy, but i think everyone has a proper right to ask their partners not to have connections if they are not happy with.
it is not at all jealousy, if she has you then what is the need of having other boys as friends. it surely creates problems. same she will react and hurted if u do same thing.
better communicate with her and tell her that her such acts hurts u, tell her that u have lots of trust on her but it hurts u.
it is very very natural, and no one can blame u coz she is ur mate not others.
best
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A
female
reader, pinkkisses24  +, writes (6 February 2011):
 I believe you may be afraid of her cheating on you and you afraid of being hurt. Which is normal and understandable because I feel you are concerned with the way she is speaking to guys through facebook and texting let her know true friends also go out and do have fun! and if she says she will stop texting them should show you that maybe they are not true friends to her because if they were she would put up a battle to keep her friends. I feel overall you are afraid of being hurt, cheated on maybe and afraid of losing the girl you love.
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A
female
reader, ailemaaax  +, writes (6 February 2011):
There is nothing wrong with you, you are just jealous. It is completely natural, but it can be toxic in a relationship -- I know, it was one of the factors which ended my relationship.
Short of telling her to stop txting them or breaking up with her, the only other option is for you to just try to get over it, as much as it hurts. I don't have any tips for overcoming jealously, so let me know if you ever figure out how, haha. (:
I know it can be really hard. My ex always had female friends, and I was always jealous of them. It got to the point were I did not want him to go clubbing without me with all these female friends because I was so jealous, and it made him feel smothered. In the end, it destroyed us.
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