A
male
age
30-35,
*JGumm
writes:My girlfriend and I are both 18 and have been dating close to a year now... My girlfriend growing up was very sheltered, so about 2 months ago so went on a wild streak, she got drunk for the first time, she cheated on me, she spent a whole week doing this lying to my face, then she broke up with me and continued to do this for another 5 days. Well after a few weeks we got back together, she said she quit drinking and stuff and was sorry. Well i knew she had cheated on me, but i took her back and she was aware that things would be really rough and i would have a hard time trusting her... however we both really wanted to give things another try. Well now i face a problem... my girlfriend admit to me she isn't ready to stop partying. She says she want to go out and party with her friends, but she says it's just to hangout with her friends. She says the drinking and the guys don't matter anymore, only me. Well i told her that i didn't really trust the people she would be partying with and that since she had a history i really didn't want her to go out. However now she swears up and down that she will stay faithful to me and she wants to prove it to me. How do i give her freedom enough to let her earn trust back without letting her go to a party where i will have way of finding out if she was actually faithful or sober the whole time. I'm not the party type of guy, i'm really not, so going to the party with her would only bring me down and she wouldn't have a good time either. I really want to trust her but i just don't, the next party she wants to go to is in 5 days. What do i do?
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broke up, cheated on me, drunk, got back together Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2011):
You are mature enough for an adult relationship. She is not.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2011): Drinking and partying without you and cheating on you all go hand in hand.
You ain't the type of guy who likes to party.
She wants to party.
She will find some guy at a party who likes to party with her.
She will cheat.
Find yourself someone who likes to be with you, not with the drink and drugs.
"she swears up and down that she will stay faithful to me"
Which means nothing once the drinking has started.
Save yourself a lot of trouble. Find someone who wants to be with you, not with the party crowd.
She might want to take a quiz
http://www.lanarkleedsaa.org/pages/aboutaa/are_you_an_alcoholic.htm
But, you should move on.
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A
male
reader, King of Boxing  +, writes (21 June 2011):
Lsn man this girl cheated on u before, and it seems to me that her partying is really important to her, ur feelings are every well placed because honestly I wouldn't trust her either if I we're u, her swearing doesn't mean much usually isn't with these kind of people, i'm not tryin to disrespect u because I know shes ur girl, but I think u know what the right thing to do is for urself, her sheltered childhood is no excuse to act and to do what she did.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 June 2011):
Buddy, you are playing with fire. Like hell would I take her back. No way! She's already proven that she is more than willing to cheat with the drink in her, and there is nothing at all to show that she's slowing down or stopping. I'm all for making sure that partner's have time apart - that's key to a healthy relationship. But this girl cheated, went on a wild streak, dumped you - all this within a year.
Sorry - but she's done nothing to show that she won't cheat. She's just come back, and changed nothing. I see nothing here.
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