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Girlfriend is staying with her baby's daddy for 2 weeks...cause for concern or not?

Tagged as: Family, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 November 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 November 2011)
A male Australia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So I've been seeing a lovely single mom for about a year, was FWB for about 6 months and were good friends for about 2 years before that. She has a 2 year old girl, who is just the most adorable little critter ever. This is not my first relationship, but its the first where I've felt 100% trust for my partner and fully "in sync", whereby we both seem to love each other the same amount- no cat and mouse routine. We love each other for who we are and not who we could be.

Its perfect.

Now originally she's from another country and once she came to my country she found out she was pregnant to her ex bf back home. He wanted nothing to do with it. As time went on, he's kinda come around to the idea of her having a kid. As she's going back to her country soonish she'll be staying at her ex bf's house for 2 weeks. Originally it was just going to be so his parents could meet the kid and he wasn't going to be there, but now (somewhat suspiciously) he's going to be there the whole 2 weeks. She's not happy about this, but she says she's doing it for the kids sake.

Now its not that I don't trust her... (I know that phrase gets thrown around a lot), but I don't trust him, and I don't trust his doting parents. He's gonna see where the boundaries are... why wouldn't he? Obviously I'm not going to say anything, tell her what she can/can't do, forbid her, ultimatums or anything like that, but I'm kinda uneasy. Am I an idiot for feeling uneasy? If I have 100% trust in her, should I not be having this "feeling"? Should I say anything to her before she goes or just keep my big mouth shut?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntI understand why you feel uneasy, and honestly I would tell her, I would also suggest she stays in a hotel instead of with him & his family. It's jsuta little too intimate for my taste.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (16 November 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntI understand that you trust her, but off course this arrangement is going to make you feel uneasy. That is completely understandable. But if she loves you well then she is not going to let her ex anywhere near her, plus his parents are going to be there, so it really is unlikely that anything will happen. Maybe you just need a word of reassurance, so be honest with her and tell her how you have been feeling, don't let it build up or it might turn to anger and resentment so yes before she goes just be honest with her and tell her how it is making you feel.

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