A
male
age
41-50,
*yself2011
writes:I am 27 yr old male. I have been with my GF for over three years.She is 24. we moved so i could go to school. she is a bartender. We had a great relationship then i realized she was verbally abusive to me. Its been over 12 months since things have gone bad. We moved form her home state, to mine. she says i lie to her and thats why she is distant from me. its been 5 months since the move. i never did anything intentionally wrong. never cheated on her but she is so distant from me. she claims she is mad at me, shell spend the day avoiding me and keeping to herslef but then she will make dinner and talk to me but never wants to have sex, pushes me away when i touch her. she wants to see my family weekly and wants to be involved but then she will be could and say disrespectful stuf to me. She had a rough childhoood and life but treat he rlike gold. dspite her verbal assualt which has left me feeling like i am worthless. then that carriea into the bedroom and i feel like shit then we dont have sex due to my mood limiting my sexual arousal then she gets upset about that. then i feel ven worse and less attractive and sexy. but then shell ignore me all day and go to work and text me she misses me. misses what? avoiding me, not touching me? i try to talk to her but she ends up screaming and being violet and we can never discuss the problem we may have. she keeps avoiding it. she shows all the signs of emotioal abuse and abandondment. why wont she talk to me? she acts like she wants to be involved in my familt but then she acts like she dont like me. alwatys on her phones. always complains how she misses home which makes me feel bad. i try everything to make her happy and she holds this grude against me like i killed someone. i just lied about trivial stuff to avoid her screaming wrath. she is old friends with a guy i am uncomfortable with and i know he wants more. she talks to him in secret. i know he texts her and though he is 600 miles away, he bother me. she lis to scream and she smokes pot. she has a heart of god and is jenerous but she wont forgive me like i did something horrinle. i kill myself to make things better, still no gorund with her. she wont touch me and i feel like more shit. why does she wanna be arounf my family but avoid my touch and avoid fixing things? what do i do to have this conversation? can anyone pick her brain?what is her game. I wanted to marry her and she did me also but now its so fucked. she is very suspious of me and me of her. i have a good reason, she dont show me any affection, meanwhile i shower her with it. i feel she takes me for granted. i now deep inside i am a great guy but her constant verbal reminder that i mess up things or make a simple mistakes is makd me believe i suck. she explodes about trivial stuff. I know she wants to fix it, why wont she talk to me, wh is everything so messed up? Why is my best attemts not good enough and why doesnt she want to fix this? she wont talk about it, she flips about dumb things and she is just a beautiful monster.. please help. input
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 December 2011):
 1. She smokes pot.
2. She verbally abuses you.
3. You're getting nothing (not even sex) out of this relationship.
4. She's most likely cheating on you emotionally with her long distance male friend.
Call me silly, but you need to dump her. You can't fix her, and from your post she doesn't care to fix anything either.
If you want to salvage whatever is left, then suggest couples counseling. BUT, it will only work if she is WILLING to go. Now, if she shoots down the idea then what does that tell you????
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 December 2011):
 Sometimes, a couple has to recognize that they JUST AREN'T "hitting on all eight cylinders" when it comes to their relationship.... and they have to go their separate ways..... It sounds like your "relationship" is at that point, now....
Do as fi the tree suggested... but expect that that conversation will end with the two of you breaking up....
P.S. IF it doesn't.... if you two determine that you CAN and WILL make the efforts to stay together,... then good luck!!!!!
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (10 December 2011):
 Show her this post...
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