A
male
age
30-35,
*onton
writes:Alright, so I've talked with a few of my other friends, and they are girls, some are guys... and it's regarding my situation with this girl.We hung out almost every night when I was available (work, etc...) Whether it be by phone, or something else. We started our days together, and ended them late at night (on the phone) and then suddenly, one day, it just kinda died down.Now, it also happens to be after something really personal happened, that only her family knows, but she told me, before her friends. I was taken back... and didn't know what to do. After that, we started getting into little fights and arguments (where she would get upset and leave). We'd eventually "kiss and make up" but it seemed to happen again every day. She starts to ignore me now, and all that, I tell her I still love her, and I feel like I did something wrong. I ask her what, but she bottles her feelings like no other. I eventually got her to speak a little, and one of the problems was that I never really made it official and called her my "GF"(I don't think this is the main problem), but I always said we were a couple. This was only like 2-3 weeks in. I told her that the title doesn't matter, and that ,a title shouldn't come between us. So I fixed that, and now call her my GF. I still feel something is wrong, so I try to figure it out, to put the pieces back together and mend the relationship. It seems we've grown quite distant, and I hate that. She doesn't want to talk to me anymore really, but she says it's not my fault. The last I spoke with her she said she's really stressed, and she doesn't want drama, and if I'm dramatic, she's done. What should I do? Give her space? Ignore her? I'm confused, and she told me she is too. If I giver her space, I'm afraid I'll lose her.
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male
reader, wonton +, writes (17 January 2010):
wonton is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys, it seems back to normal, but i need to smother alot less.
A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 Oh dear. Well then, if you ignored her and now she's saying she loves you, perhaps it time to have a chat and see you're both on the same page...
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A
male
reader, wonton +, writes (17 January 2010):
wonton is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I ignored her for a few hours, and she thinks I'm mad at her, and shes telling me she loves me... SOOO CONFUSED!
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A
male
reader, wonton +, writes (17 January 2010):
wonton is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ oldersister...
Ironically she did the exact same thing to me at first, so i felt it was alright. So this is why I'm confused, but ok.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (17 January 2010):
 Relationships either die or go into marriage. The problem is that there is no problem. At your age, boys like to be boys and girls like to be girls. There seem to be nothing in common. It's like, you say something, there is no continuation, and then awkward silence. So it's better to argue then to have that dead silence. This is common in relationships at your age.
Instead of expecting a perfect relationship, why not focus on what you want to do career wise? Or go to the gym? It's better than struggling with communication with your girlfriend.
When you have money, then you can start to enjoy life.
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A
female
reader, veronika +, writes (17 January 2010):
I personally think you should give each other space. You may be afraid of losing her, but there's a chance you could also lose her if you smother her too much and try and fix everything at once. So it's a risk either way.
I think it's one of those situations where you need to just take a break for a while. Perhaps then she can have a chance to think about you and the relationship and figure out what she really wants. You also. Good luck.
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