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General question about breaking up/ getting back together?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

what do you guys think...Someone once told me that if you break up with someone even if you come back together...things are never the same...and the same problems are gonna surface....I know that even if my ex asked me back...now id be kinda afraid of giving my feelings to him because I know he left me once...

But yet...I know lots of people who have broken up like 10 times and in the end ended up married.

is it s good idea to go back to an ex? What could you do so that if you do...you can trust your feelings with them again...? That they'll stick with you in the hard times too? thanks!

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A female reader, PsyCookie United States +, writes (31 August 2008):

PsyCookie agony auntI know my relationship right now is still pretty young (just 3 years) and not many people might think of a valid answer for this.

I broke up once with him, for 3 days. They were one of the hardest days of my life, and I still remember them.

Yes, our relationship changed, but it was actually for the better. Now, looking back, I've noticed that both of us have matured greatly and that now we try to resolve our problems more. Sometimes, the thought of breaking up has come up when we fight, but something in us...probably the experience of those day, make us try to persist and resolve the difference.

I don't know if all relationship are like mine, but I know ours is not unique. We're young and we haven't been together for that long either, but we try. I, specially, have had more heart to forgive him (a long story), and I love him so deary, I'm in love with him....and in my heart, I know he feels the same way.

So my answer is that it might not be a bad idea, but due to the high statistic of going back to ex's never work, I don't want to get your hopes up. But let me tell you, never EVER believe something to be a whole truth, as for there are exceptions for every rule.

PS. I'm well aware that most people that go back to their ex's most of the time don't work out.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008):

thanks i just wanted to know your guys experiences with it

~poster

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A female reader, sappygirl United States +, writes (30 August 2008):

sappygirl agony auntI say once you break up you should move on with your life and not look back.

i've been in a relationship for 12 years, broke up 3 times to only get back together. We got married, and now he left me. Looking back, I wish I never took him back the first time around. it was so hard to let him go because I loved him so much. In hindsight, he didn't love me Enough..and now I know I deserved better than him.

We broke up for a reason, we were incompatible and we tried to fix what was already broken.

move on..there are so many great catches out there. Good luck.

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A female reader, shiraz United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2008):

hiyah, nobody can tell you what to do each situation is different, only you know how your feeling, people can only advise from there own experiances but i do know that even if a relationship survivies its never the same its always there it never goes away and youve always got that bit of insecurity that is with you throughout your relationship.many relationships have ups and downs and the stronger ones pull through but once that trust is broken its like the person is not the same any more. yes there always there, they know you well and you feel you can reley on them because they offer you that stability you need at a certain time but you have to ask yourself if it feels righ and a lot of the time it doesnt.

There is life after a broke reltionship its up to you to go find it or stay in one thats already got one crack in it

good luck xxx tell me how it goes

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