A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:From a guys perspective, is it worth playing hard to get?As a girl, I was always taught that men are chasers and hunters and girls should play hard to get b/c this will make men like them, because its very true that people want things that they cant have. But as a psych student, research after research study has shown that we like those people that like us more than those that dont. So from guys, what do you think is a good balance between being friendly and aloof? Is it okay to let a guy know that you like him, or no because he realized that the "chase" is over? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): I have tried hard to get, I have tried acting interested, neither worked.... I think if a guy really likes you, he will probably be ok with both responses...
A
male
reader, Mark25  +, writes (19 July 2008):
 From a man's point of view, we hate it when women play hard to get. We really don't know if she's interested or not. The last we want to do is to pester her. So if a girl is showing that she's not interested then we'll leave her alone. Men don't like games. Just be honest with us. Try flirting. That shows us that you are interested but you don't want to jump into bed with someone. If all he's after is sex he'll soon get fed up and you haven't lost anything.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): I think you've been given great advice so far.
I just wanted to add that I have been told that I was playing hard to get by guys that I was "dating," when I really wasn't. The truth is that I actually wasn't playing hard to get (I don't play games) I just genuinely wasn't all that interested. Nothing more. At that time I didn't want anything long term or serious with these guys. And I wanted to date, I just didn't want any attachments. If it took me two days to return his call, it wasn't a game. It just genuinely wasn't a priority. That's all. Believe me, if I like someone, I WILL call them back, right away.
I think alot of people mistake genuine lack of interest with the excuse that its "a game." Not everybody plays games.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (18 July 2008):
 You are talking about two different things. Hard to get means, you don't have sex before the first date.
Aloof means you pretend you don't like him.
Just because you make it clear you like being around him does NOT mean you have to have sex straight away.
Waiting serves two purposes. As said, the longer the chaser the sweeter the victory but it also helps you weed out those guys only after quick sex.
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