A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. My story is weird, just a warning:)I am in my late 50s, husband is 65. 9 years ago he met a girl who is 1 year younger than our daughter. I think i was the only who didn't kmow about it. Just to be his advocate: we had no sex for past couple of years before he met her. I traveled a lot so we were distant physically and emotionally. The girl is in another country. The only way they can meet is traveling. When I found out I thought Long and hard what to do next. I liked my life and had no intention of drastically change it what would happen if we divorced. When I asked him..he felt same way. He realized the age difference and had no intention of marrying her . She also kmew about me and was ok with it. We decided to not change anything4 years forward. His business came down to the point that he closed his store and now works at home making quarter of what he made before . My business flourished. I am not rich by any means but comfortable enough to Travel 4 months out of the year. Slowly but surely my husband managed to put me in a situation where I pay all bills, all of.our daily expenses such as food, gas,etc. I solely pay for car, insurances, our trips to see our daughter and granddaughter which is across country and quite costly. Despite the fact that I make between $7-8k net a month with no mortgage and no debts but car payment I can hardly save anything at all. He already has his ssi benefits which is not a lit about 1300$ a month plus he Still works. Here I can't even tell you how much he makes because it's always a secret. I am assuming it's not that much but still his income from.both sources can't be less than 3k a month. Based on that he decided that I am the one who has to take care of all his life expenses and his whole income he spends on his travels and help to the girl and her son. Not even sure how that happened. It didn't happen over night. He cried and complained pointing out to my travels. And slowly but surely I started paying for everything. I have to add. He helps wme with business. I have a small guest house and he does repairs there when needed but very infrequently. So this part is vague. Today we had a conversation with him.when I said that it would be nice if he paid at least for gas sometimes or pick one of the bills or food. This is what he told me : I am helping you with your business and you don't pay me anything. That's why I have a right to not pay for any bills. He said: I just fixed AC and it would cost you 400$ to pay someone. ( that was one thing he did in February). I said: my bills are 1300$ a month. Do you really think you do work for 650$ a month? The reason why I don't pay you is because if I did you would have to pay half of this house bills. And you would never have money for it. Because you spent all of your money on the girl. So I would chase you around every month for these 650$ because I kmow 100% you will never have them. That's one thing. Bills are low but what about other expenses. We have 1 car, you drive that car too, I paid 15k deposit to buy this car and I now make 509$ a month payments plus 120$ insurance. We just changed tires and again it came out of my account 800$. So you can't say that occasional repairs on my guest house cover all of this. You just don't contribute to this household under the name " I am helping you with your business". My daughter told.me if I paid him for every job he did for me we wouldn't have querells like this. Yes that would work IF he is willing and have money to pay his way. But he tries to avoid ut as much as possible. His resources are limited and if he has to contribute hisromantic life will suffer. What do you all think? Thank you
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